Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[Tai_zi21]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

more more laughters...

I will choose 38D anytime any day

[Elliotz]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Wish we have such durian sellers here

[Hurricane88]

Touching story..

Last night I was sitting in the living room, talking 2 my wife about life.. In-between, we talked about the idea of living or dying. I told her : 'Never let me live in a vegetative state, totally dependent on machines and liquids from a bottle. If you see me in that state I want you to disconnect all the connections that are keeping me alive, I'd much rather die.'

My wife got up from her seat with the look of admiration towards me proceeded to disconnect the Cable tv, DVD, ,the Computer, the Cell Phone, the iPod, and the Xbox, and went to the bar and threw away all my whisky, Gin, Vodka the Beer from the fridge...

I ALMOST DIED!!

Think before you speak. The female brain works on a different wavelength!

😜💃🏼👍🏽

[Hurricane88]

<<AirAsia's boss, Tony Fernandes and his beer>>

Arriving in a hotel in KL Sentral he went to the bar and asked for a pint of draught Guinness.

The barman nodded and said, "That will be one Ringgit please, Uncle Tony."

Somewhat taken aback, Uncle Tony replied, "That's very cheap," and handed over his money.

"Well, we try to stay ahead of the competition", said the barman.
"And we are serving free pints every Wednesday evening from 6 until 8.

We have the cheapest draught in Asia"

"That is remarkable value" Uncle Tony comments

"I see you don't seem to have a glass, so you'll probably need one of ours.

That will be 3 Ringgit please."

Uncle Tony scowled, but paid up. He took his drink and walked towards a seat.

"Ah, you want to sit down?" said the barman. "That'll be an extra 2 Ringgit.

You could have pre-book the seat, and it would have only cost you a Ringgit"

"I think you may to be too big for the seat sir, can I ask you to sit in this frame please"

Uncle Tony attempts to sit down but the frame is too small and when he can't squeeze in he complains "Nobody would fit in that little frame".

"I'm afraid if you can't fit in the frame you'll have to pay an extra surcharge of RM 4 for your seat sir"

Tony swore to himself, but paid up. "I see that you have brought your laptop with you" added the barman.

"And since that wasn't pre-booked either, that will be another 3 Ringgit"

Uncle Tony was so annoyed that he walked back to the bar, slammed his drink on the counter, and yelled,

"This is ridiculous, I want to speak to the manager".

"Ah, I see you want to use the counter," says the barman, "that will be 2 Ringgit please."

Uncle's face was red with rage.

"Do you know who I am?"

"Of course I do Mr Fernandes"

"I've had enough, What sort of Hotel is this? I come in for a quiet drink and you treat me like this.

I insist on speaking to a manager!"

"Here is his Email address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9 and 9.10 every morning, Monday to Tuesday at this free phone number.

Calls are free, until they are answered, then there is a talking charge of only 10 sen per second provided you use Tune Talk
using other mobile carriers would incur our normal charges of 30 Sen per second."

"I will never use this bar again"

"OK Uncle , but remember, we are the only bar in Asia selling pints for one Ringgit... so that "Now everyone can drink"

#ifyouknowwhatimean

[Altigater]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Touching story..

Last night I was sitting in the living room, talking 2 my wife about life.. In-between, we talked about the idea of living or dying. I told her : 'Never let me live in a vegetative state, totally dependent on machines and liquids from a bottle. If you see me in that state I want you to disconnect all the connections that are keeping me alive, I'd much rather die.'

My wife got up from her seat with the look of admiration towards me proceeded to disconnect the Cable tv, DVD, ,the Computer, the Cell Phone, the iPod, and the Xbox, and went to the bar and threw away all my whisky, Gin, Vodka the Beer from the fridge...

I ALMOST DIED!!

Think before you speak. The female brain works on a different wavelength!

😜💃🏼👍🏽

Nice joke bro LMAO

[Hurricane88]

After the death of his wife an elderly man married a young woman ..


Now he was spending less time with his friends. His concerned friends enquired if there was a problem.

“I'm to pass time with you but my poor wife gets lonely when I'm away.”

Friends advised him to keep a young tenant at home, your wife will be happy in the company of a younger person.

The elderly man promptly acted on their advise and leased a room in house to a young tenant.

The friends were meeting more often. One day the friends jokingly asked, “How is your wife now?”

She is not lonely at all, in fact she is happy and *“She is pregnant”*



The friends laughed, as they expected this. “How is the tenant?” they asked.













The man replied very soberly
*“She is also pregnant* ..”

Never underestimate the *Power of - Senior Citizen*
🕺🕺🥃🥃💃💃

[NastyThaiboy]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

The man replied very soberly
*“She is also pregnant* ..”

Never underestimate the *Power of - Senior Citizen*
🕺🕺🥃🥃💃💃

this is funny, thanks bro for this.

[Adjective]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

After the death of his wife an elderly man married a young woman ..


Now he was spending less time with his friends. His concerned friends enquired if there was a problem.

“I'm to pass time with you but my poor wife gets lonely when I'm away.”

Friends advised him to keep a young tenant at home, your wife will be happy in the company of a younger person.

The elderly man promptly acted on their advise and leased a room in house to a young tenant.

The friends were meeting more often. One day the friends jokingly asked, “How is your wife now?”

She is not lonely at all, in fact she is happy and *“She is pregnant”*



The friends laughed, as they expected this. “How is the tenant?” they asked.













The man replied very soberly
*“She is also pregnant* ..”

Never underestimate the *Power of - Senior Citizen*
🕺🕺🥃🥃💃💃

Hahaha very unexpected ending

[bozzo]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

<<AirAsia's boss, Tony Fernandes and his beer>>

Arriving in a hotel in KL Sentral he went to the bar and asked for a pint of draught Guinness.

The barman nodded and said, "That will be one Ringgit please, Uncle Tony."

Somewhat taken aback, Uncle Tony replied, "That's very cheap," and handed over his money.

"Well, we try to stay ahead of the competition", said the barman.
"And we are serving free pints every Wednesday evening from 6 until 8.

We have the cheapest draught in Asia"

"That is remarkable value" Uncle Tony comments

"I see you don't seem to have a glass, so you'll probably need one of ours.

That will be 3 Ringgit please."

Uncle Tony scowled, but paid up. He took his drink and walked towards a seat.

"Ah, you want to sit down?" said the barman. "That'll be an extra 2 Ringgit.

You could have pre-book the seat, and it would have only cost you a Ringgit"

"I think you may to be too big for the seat sir, can I ask you to sit in this frame please"

Uncle Tony attempts to sit down but the frame is too small and when he can't squeeze in he complains "Nobody would fit in that little frame".

"I'm afraid if you can't fit in the frame you'll have to pay an extra surcharge of RM 4 for your seat sir"

Tony swore to himself, but paid up. "I see that you have brought your laptop with you" added the barman.

"And since that wasn't pre-booked either, that will be another 3 Ringgit"

Uncle Tony was so annoyed that he walked back to the bar, slammed his drink on the counter, and yelled,

"This is ridiculous, I want to speak to the manager".

"Ah, I see you want to use the counter," says the barman, "that will be 2 Ringgit please."

Uncle's face was red with rage.

"Do you know who I am?"

"Of course I do Mr Fernandes"

"I've had enough, What sort of Hotel is this? I come in for a quiet drink and you treat me like this.

I insist on speaking to a manager!"

"Here is his Email address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9 and 9.10 every morning, Monday to Tuesday at this free phone number.

Calls are free, until they are answered, then there is a talking charge of only 10 sen per second provided you use Tune Talk
using other mobile carriers would incur our normal charges of 30 Sen per second."

"I will never use this bar again"

"OK Uncle , but remember, we are the only bar in Asia selling pints for one Ringgit... so that "Now everyone can drink"

#ifyouknowwhatimean

Nice one and thanks bro.

[teetimes]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

After the death of his wife an elderly man married a young woman ..

Good funny jokes. Almost fell off my chair! Thanks bro.

[masterschamp]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

more more laughters...

Senior citizens warning aids!

[SwedishSpy]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

After the death of his wife an elderly man married a young woman ..

Very funny joke, rolling on the floor laughing! Thanks bro

[AmpEnergy]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

So many types of AIDS

[kumharder]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

<<AirAsia's boss, Tony Fernandes and his beer>>

Arriving in a hotel in KL Sentral he went to the bar and asked for a pint of draught Guinness.

The barman nodded and said, "That will be one Ringgit please, Uncle Tony."

Somewhat taken aback, Uncle Tony replied, "That's very cheap," and handed over his money.

"Well, we try to stay ahead of the competition", said the barman.
"And we are serving free pints every Wednesday evening from 6 until 8.

We have the cheapest draught in Asia"

"That is remarkable value" Uncle Tony comments

"I see you don't seem to have a glass, so you'll probably need one of ours.

That will be 3 Ringgit please."

Uncle Tony scowled, but paid up. He took his drink and walked towards a seat.

"Ah, you want to sit down?" said the barman. "That'll be an extra 2 Ringgit.

You could have pre-book the seat, and it would have only cost you a Ringgit"

"I think you may to be too big for the seat sir, can I ask you to sit in this frame please"

Uncle Tony attempts to sit down but the frame is too small and when he can't squeeze in he complains "Nobody would fit in that little frame".

"I'm afraid if you can't fit in the frame you'll have to pay an extra surcharge of RM 4 for your seat sir"

Tony swore to himself, but paid up. "I see that you have brought your laptop with you" added the barman.

"And since that wasn't pre-booked either, that will be another 3 Ringgit"

Uncle Tony was so annoyed that he walked back to the bar, slammed his drink on the counter, and yelled,

"This is ridiculous, I want to speak to the manager".

"Ah, I see you want to use the counter," says the barman, "that will be 2 Ringgit please."

Uncle's face was red with rage.

"Do you know who I am?"

"Of course I do Mr Fernandes"

"I've had enough, What sort of Hotel is this? I come in for a quiet drink and you treat me like this.

I insist on speaking to a manager!"

"Here is his Email address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9 and 9.10 every morning, Monday to Tuesday at this free phone number.

Calls are free, until they are answered, then there is a talking charge of only 10 sen per second provided you use Tune Talk
using other mobile carriers would incur our normal charges of 30 Sen per second."

"I will never use this bar again"

"OK Uncle , but remember, we are the only bar in Asia selling pints for one Ringgit... so that "Now everyone can drink"

#ifyouknowwhatimean

Maybe Tony Fernandes learn from this bar and use it on budget airlines

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...