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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #1  
Old 06-03-2019, 09:14 PM
cashstar1213 cashstar1213 is offline
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Dilemma of a pessimistic average guy...

Hi all,

Long time reader, not my 1st post but wish that someone can give me some advice/encouragement.

I am local chinese 28, have a stable work earn 4+ a month.Gives money to parents month, don drink/smoke/gamble/club. I am average looking, saved up quite some money through part-time work, proxy service which i help ppl buy stuff here over the years, tiny-safe involvement over the years and have reach a good 100k+.
I am pretty much what ppl call a indoor nerd. I hardly even go out on weekends. I feel ok staying in 24/7 if i have 1 whole month of free time to myself.

I experience a rejection when i was ard 18/19. There was this girl i really like. Thought it was a crush at 1st but no it was real, so real i though of her all the time. She was from ITE, mayb 3 years older than me. She was my cousin's friend whom i met during a gathering. She jus broke up with her bf. There was another guy who like her at the same time also, but through some events he gave up and i won the battle. I tried to confess to her at one point but she mentioned she needed more time. I waited and tried a last attempt and got rejected.

Since then i nv have the balls to try again. My thoughts from then were pretty twisted. I thought every gal can be gained by money. Every woman i saw on the streets are jus out for money. U throw money and everyone will spread there legs for u. Sometimes i see this cute girl and thought: Wow how i hope she was my girlfriend but nah like i had a dog shit of a chance.

I started on this thread and manage to bed a women ard 40+. I have phimosis then so i cant feel a thing with condom... But now i guess it has gotten a lot better with stretching...


I have been bullied through my life, pri&sec school, poly, army. I don really speak with anyone at work unless needed. I would eat on my own in my 1st job everyday. Now at my 2nd job is a bit better as my department usually eat together but time to time they have their own appointment i will jus eat alone also.

This sparks the flame of no confident inside me. I kept thinking why are others better looking/better job/have a girlfriend compared to me. So i kept thinking : nah non of these dumb fucks are probably as rich as me hahaha. Please jus die off somewhere u shits.

I have reach a point i don really wanna interact with ppl unless NEEDED. Work still get done and colleagues are pretty ok and i do talk to them time to time. But i still feel lost, sometimes i feel like: can someone jus kill me this trash somehow...

I hope someone can give me some advice how to go on in life from here. I don wanna bother to know new ppl YET i want a girlfriend which is a dilemma as fuck...



Thank you for taking your time to read til here. This may all be totally BS to some ppl. I could have wasted your time but thank you once again to read abt this tiny exsistance on Earth.

Cheers!
  #2  
Old 06-03-2019, 10:18 PM
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iloveu4ever iloveu4ever is offline
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Re: Dilemma of a pessimistic average guy...

Can share ur 100k with me? I can make u feel like a man again...
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  #3  
Old 06-03-2019, 10:43 PM
Stimsia Stimsia is offline
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Re: Dilemma of a pessimistic average guy...

Many would have commit suicide going by your reasoning
Was reading another thread some joker asking for 30k loan....
  #4  
Old 07-03-2019, 12:01 AM
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arsenal_84 arsenal_84 is offline
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Re: Dilemma of a pessimistic average guy...

100k nia and you called yourself rich...there are always higher mountains out there.

sometimes in life the issues that can be resolved by money are not really serious issues.
But however is those issues that cannot be resolved by money ones such as mentality and eq, these are big issues no amount of money can resolved.
  #5  
Old 07-03-2019, 06:36 AM
Timoshadowstep Timoshadowstep is offline
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Re: Dilemma of a pessimistic average guy...

You doing quite well. Got quite a bit money. Why do you feel you need a girl friend? Just pump and dump if i were you. The juice aint worth the squeeze.
  #6  
Old 07-03-2019, 02:01 PM
larue larue is offline
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Re: Dilemma of a pessimistic average guy...

I don't know what it is about the system here, or the supposedly better 'Asian way' of bringing up their children that so many grow up feeling totally unworthy despite being completely normal.

You have a lot going for you cash, but what you really need to do is start focusing on what's good about you.

Everything you say about yourself is either negative, or when positive, qualified. So you got to have sex with an older lady, pat yourself on the back if you think its necessary, and use it as a platform to kick on.

Why do you go on about the girl who rejected you? So what? Her loss, and you have to stop thinking it is your fault.

Go on and do other stuff. You sound like you have time to work on activities for yourself on weekends besides sit at home and mope.

Have some faith in yourself, stop thinking that people are looking at you, or judging you (although to be fair, this is one of the worst places to seek advice because there's nothing but internet tough guys waiting to bring you down virtually cos they're too ball-less to do it in real life) because nobody cares.

Really, it's your life to live they way you want it, not how you think other people want it.

To be fair, I have seen first hand the effects of childhood bullying, and the long term scarring it can cause. But you have acknowledged it, you can start to put that away in the 'didn't kill me' folder.

And honestly, none of it is hard to do. It is astonishingly how easy it is to turn your life around. How easy it is for most men (honestly I don't know shit about women) in fact.

The hardest part really is getting off your bum, stop the wallowing in self pity , leaving your comfort zone and trying something new. It doesn't even have to be a big change at first.

You just need to get started. Your self esteem is not magically going to come from somewhere unless you do something about it.

It's up to you, but the thing I've noticed from many of the guys I've interacted with here, and don't think I'll ever get sick of saying is this:

It is simply easier to carry on believing you don't have a 'dog shit of a chance' because doing that takes ZERO effort and you can carry on blaming someone else. Your parents, your boss, your childhood bullies, pick one, pick all. The end result is the same.

If you want to improve your life, get up and start working on what you don't like about your life. You have clearly identified areas of dissatisfaction which puts you ahead already. Start with something easy.

If you prefer to stay as you are, you only need to do nothing.

Last edited by larue; 07-03-2019 at 02:04 PM. Reason: Minor additions
  #7  
Old 07-03-2019, 02:43 PM
iluvbreast iluvbreast is offline
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Re: Dilemma of a pessimistic average guy...

Quote:
Originally Posted by cashstar1213 View Post
Hi all,

This sparks the flame of no confident inside me. I kept thinking why are others better looking/better job/have a girlfriend compared to me. So i kept thinking : nah non of these dumb fucks are probably as rich as me hahaha. Please jus die off somewhere u shits......

Cheers!
Boy Boy, you are 28 already and you still think the way you do in your post above?

Your dilemma is very real, you do not wish to interact with people and yet you wish to get to know a girl to share your lives together.

The simple question is: How will you two share your lives if you don't wish to interact with other people (your gf/wife inclusive).

Congratulations that you have 100k cash at 28 (I assume that is self-made), you are probably better off than some of us (me included).

Ask yourself this, how many are there like you? Have cash, don't have vices and all?

Actually, a lot of 28 year-olds are like you, so what makes you so special that a girl must be attracted to you?

Your thinking of money will get you any girl is definitely twisted and wrong. Do you know of any girls who are of your age and are rich, be it they are born rich or whatever? Do you think you can get these girls with your 100k?

nobody tells you that rejection is part and parcel of chasing the opposite sex, that's part of the fun? Uncle here gotten rejection quite a number of times, then again (not boasting) uncle also rejected a a few girls who wanted to start something with me......sometimes I think back....I should not be so gentlemanly sigh.....
  #8  
Old 07-03-2019, 07:26 PM
cashstar1213 cashstar1213 is offline
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Re: Dilemma of a pessimistic average guy...

Hi all,

Thanks for all the feedback and i feel that not all hope have been lost. I believe like what most of the bros here say: Don jus sit there and do nothing cuz it aint gonna have anything happen on its own.

Perhaps what i can do is pack up the past, store it in a box and leave it there forever. Step out into the open during weekends can get something going.

Cheers to all who have contributed!
  #9  
Old 07-03-2019, 08:44 PM
EtherC EtherC is offline
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Re: Dilemma of a pessimistic average guy...

Happiness is not external, you have to find it within yourself. Like what the brothers here have advised, go & put yourself out there. Treat people with sincerity & kindness. Learn to love yourself & be comfortable in your own skin. 100k is not that big a sum but not so small either. Think about what you want to do with it. There are 7 billion people on this rock, if you really have the heart to look for someone compatible the statistical odds are quite good.
  #10  
Old 08-03-2019, 01:36 AM
alexsptrader alexsptrader is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cashstar1213 View Post
Hi all,

Long time reader, not my 1st post but wish that someone can give me some advice/encouragement.

I am local chinese 28, have a stable work earn 4+ a month.Gives money to parents month, don drink/smoke/gamble/club. I am average looking, saved up quite some money through part-time work, proxy service which i help ppl buy stuff here over the years, tiny-safe involvement over the years and have reach a good 100k+.
I am pretty much what ppl call a indoor nerd. I hardly even go out on weekends. I feel ok staying in 24/7 if i have 1 whole month of free time to myself.

I experience a rejection when i was ard 18/19. There was this girl i really like. Thought it was a crush at 1st but no it was real, so real i though of her all the time. She was from ITE, mayb 3 years older than me. She was my cousin's friend whom i met during a gathering. She jus broke up with her bf. There was another guy who like her at the same time also, but through some events he gave up and i won the battle. I tried to confess to her at one point but she mentioned she needed more time. I waited and tried a last attempt and got rejected.

Since then i nv have the balls to try again. My thoughts from then were pretty twisted. I thought every gal can be gained by money. Every woman i saw on the streets are jus out for money. U throw money and everyone will spread there legs for u. Sometimes i see this cute girl and thought: Wow how i hope she was my girlfriend but nah like i had a dog shit of a chance.

I started on this thread and manage to bed a women ard 40+. I have phimosis then so i cant feel a thing with condom... But now i guess it has gotten a lot better with stretching...


I have been bullied through my life, pri&sec school, poly, army. I don really speak with anyone at work unless needed. I would eat on my own in my 1st job everyday. Now at my 2nd job is a bit better as my department usually eat together but time to time they have their own appointment i will jus eat alone also.

This sparks the flame of no confident inside me. I kept thinking why are others better looking/better job/have a girlfriend compared to me. So i kept thinking : nah non of these dumb fucks are probably as rich as me hahaha. Please jus die off somewhere u shits.

I have reach a point i don really wanna interact with ppl unle
ss NEEDED. Work still get done and colleagues are pretty ok and i do talk to them time to time. But i still feel lost, sometimes i feel like: can someone jus kill me this trash somehow...

I hope someone can give me some advice how to go on in life from here. I don wanna bother to know new ppl YET i want a girlfriend which is a dilemma as fuck...



Thank you for taking your time to read til here. This may all be totally BS to some ppl. I could have wasted your time but thank you once again to read abt this tiny exsistance on Earth.

Cheers!
Your problem is more where to meet the girl who is like u and who doenst mind u. Spore is small. Go China holiday on ur own go Thailand on ur own. Walk experience talk n learn. Open yourself up and dnt be afraid to talk anything under the sun or afraid ppl will laugh at u. Be more confident.

Go for at least 2 to 3 mths. Come back go for social gathering n u have real life experience to back up conversation etc. Girls like ppl who r knowledgeable confident n honest n most importantly sincere. Charm them with ur experiences
  #11  
Old 08-03-2019, 02:09 AM
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jennytan jennytan is offline
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Re: Dilemma of a pessimistic average guy...

as a small step forward, if u want to try getting to know girls + no obligation to meet up + no need to leave ur house + no commitment, u could try downloading and using dating apps like tinder. just leave ur picture there, and spam swipe whenever the cooldown is up u might match with someone that u feel is interesting enough to get u to leave the house to get to know

in fact, u could also head to other countries and use the app there to get to know foreign girls who are interested to know singaporean men (no obligation to meet also)...despite what some local girls may say, i believe sg guys do have good qualities
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  #12  
Old 08-03-2019, 06:55 PM
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Re: Dilemma of a pessimistic average guy...

I am sure many brothers here if no smoke, no go massage, no kio kuay, no drink....Can easily save more than 100K So your 100k is actually nothing
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  #13  
Old 10-03-2019, 08:21 AM
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Re: Dilemma of a pessimistic average guy...

Hit the gym and get jack. You'll see the difference.
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Old 10-03-2019, 12:14 PM
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Re: Dilemma of a pessimistic average guy...

Go overseas to work and challenge yourself. Get out of the status quo.
  #15  
Old 13-03-2019, 02:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cashstar1213 View Post
Hi all,

Long time reader, not my 1st post but wish that someone can give me some advice/encouragement.

I am local chinese 28, have a stable work earn 4+ a month.Gives money to parents month, don drink/smoke/gamble/club. I am average looking, saved up quite some money through part-time work, proxy service which i help ppl buy stuff here over the years, tiny-safe involvement over the years and have reach a good 100k+.
I am pretty much what ppl call a indoor nerd. I hardly even go out on weekends. I feel ok staying in 24/7 if i have 1 whole month of free time to myself.

I experience a rejection when i was ard 18/19. There was this girl i really like. Thought it was a crush at 1st but no it was real, so real i though of her all the time. She was from ITE, mayb 3 years older than me. She was my cousin's friend whom i met during a gathering. She jus broke up with her bf. There was another guy who like her at the same time also, but through some events he gave up and i won the battle. I tried to confess to her at one point but she mentioned she needed more time. I waited and tried a last attempt and got rejected.

Since then i nv have the balls to try again. My thoughts from then were pretty twisted. I thought every gal can be gained by money. Every woman i saw on the streets are jus out for money. U throw money and everyone will spread there legs for u. Sometimes i see this cute girl and thought: Wow how i hope she was my girlfriend but nah like i had a dog shit of a chance.

I started on this thread and manage to bed a women ard 40+. I have phimosis then so i cant feel a thing with condom... But now i guess it has gotten a lot better with stretching...


I have been bullied through my life, pri&sec school, poly, army. I don really speak with anyone at work unless needed. I would eat on my own in my 1st job everyday. Now at my 2nd job is a bit better as my department usually eat together but time to time they have their own appointment i will jus eat alone also.

This sparks the flame of no confident inside me. I kept thinking why are others better looking/better job/have a girlfriend compared to me. So i kept thinking : nah non of these dumb fucks are probably as rich as me hahaha. Please jus die off somewhere u shits.

I have reach a point i don really wanna interact with ppl unless NEEDED. Work still get done and colleagues are pretty ok and i do talk to them time to time. But i still feel lost, sometimes i feel like: can someone jus kill me this trash somehow...

I hope someone can give me some advice how to go on in life from here. I don wanna bother to know new ppl YET i want a girlfriend which is a dilemma as fuck...



Thank you for taking your time to read til here. This may all be totally BS to some ppl. I could have wasted your time but thank you once again to read abt this tiny exsistance on Earth.

Cheers!

You seems to feel out of space. I understand try attempt talk to people. Try change. Try go club and interact with girls. I feel you lack compassion due to being supress too long. When you lack compassion and self assume almighty for having 100k. Woman is truly can be easiee get using money but you still need that confident fun and compassion before you can find one woman companion for yourself.

sooner or later your 100k will become nothing.. So yah..stay humble and stay positive. Interact more. Its hard to make the first step.

Networking is very important.. Dont feel sucidal. You not the only alone one in this world. At least you are debt free.
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