My wife with her EX, advise pls

[Mango]

I have been married for years. My relationship with my wife is very good and steady. Everyday, she gives me a kiss before we head for our working place. And every here and then, I will buy her presents. I still have very strong feeling about her.
So, the thing that I want to some of your advice happened yesterday. My wife was taking her bath and I was cleaning my room. Yes, I will do the cleaning sometimes. Accidentally, I pressed a button on her hand phone. Usually, we don’t touch each other stuff; just have some privacy for each other’s. But that moment, I don’t know why, I feel very curious about the stuff inside the hand phone. And I know my wife will take at least 30 minutes for her to finish bathing. I start to explore the contain in her hand phone. Fuck, out of my suppraise, she still have contact with her ex after years of married. And they SMS each other A LOT, I means really A LOT!!! Yesterday only, there are 30 sms received. And the sms contains really really make me NUT.
They are like old loving couple. Saying something like you miss me or not. How sweet on their old time. What’s their plan for meet. AND more importantly, involved a lot of sexual stuff…
Upon that moment, I feel like I had been cheated for years, is she love or not what? What’s on her mind? I don’t talk to her since that. Don’t even give her a goodbye kiss before I go to work.
Please advise if you are in this condition. What will you do?

[tittyhawk]

My advise n opinion - Approach and talk to her openly. Don't show your temper just concern and see the reactions. I believe marital problems can be resolved peacefully without agressions, esp in your case since u n her r so in love still.

[MachoDevilX]

Originally Posted by Mango

I have been married for years. My relationship with my wife is very good and steady. Everyday, she gives me a kiss before we head for our working place. And every here and then, I will buy her presents. I still have very strong feeling about her.
So, the thing that I want to some of your advice happened yesterday. My wife was taking her bath and I was cleaning my room. Yes, I will do the cleaning sometimes. Accidentally, I pressed a button on her hand phone. Usually, we don’t touch each other stuff; just have some privacy for each other’s. But that moment, I don’t know why, I feel very curious about the stuff inside the hand phone. And I know my wife will take at least 30 minutes for her to finish bathing. I start to explore the contain in her hand phone. Fuck, out of my suppraise, she still have contact with her ex after years of married. And they SMS each other A LOT, I means really A LOT!!! Yesterday only, there are 30 sms received. And the sms contains really really make me NUT.
They are like old loving couple. Saying something like you miss me or not. How sweet on their old time. What’s their plan for meet. AND more importantly, involved a lot of sexual stuff…
Upon that moment, I feel like I had been cheated for years, is she love or not what? What’s on her mind? I don’t talk to her since that. Don’t even give her a goodbye kiss before I go to work.
Please advise if you are in this condition. What will you do?

First of all, it's already not right for you to check her sms... Since she can leave her handphone openly for you, that means that the stuffs in her handphone is no big deal to her... Would you be stupid enough to leave all the messages that you have with your outside gf in your handphone and yet, leave your handphone openly to your wife? I don't think you will... Although she is still in contact with her ex, but then that doesn't really mean anything much as they could still remain as good friends.... As for the sexual stuffs, I know that no guys will be able to take it... But can you elaborate examples of the sexual content? Sometimes, flirting among ex-bf or ex-gf is common... Although you can say that it's not right but then flirting might be just through sms only... We need to know some examples of the content then can analyse further.. But if you doesn't think that it is appropriate to say out here, it's okay.... Think of it... You can flirt with other girls through sms as well but that doesn't mean that you are into any "special" relationship with them...

[asdfghjkl]

very good advise from mdx..

[dradonsnake77]

well said by MDX2... but mayb he was a guo lai ren??? jus kidding...
well 2e starter... Y dun u follow her wen u noe dat dey r meeting up n c 4urself wat dey r doing how dey behaved in e open public or worse stil in a confine room (hotel ; his house; car)...
den after dat can u talk it out wif ur wify n solved e problems... but can u forgive n forget after e whole issue blow over if u r stil married 2 ur wify???
dats e most important tingy rite now...
BTW fr ur words.... hmmm dis sounds quite impossible... cos U dun even kiss her anymore ever since!!!

[ouzo18]

I agreed with u.........Clap clap to MDX

[DingDongBell]

Bro, time to a hire a private detective.... with everything on hand then will teach you how to do it.

[DingDongBell]

In case I am busy... here is the solution

Once all the fact in hand that she is cheating you... from this point onwards there are two things you should be clear.
.................................................. ..................................
First, do you still love her, forgive her and want her back.

Second, if no, then divorce her, quick and simple.
.................................................. ...................................

If you want her back, then a bit difficult. But not impossible. Locate the ex-boyfriend parent address and hire somebody to beat up one of the parents. At the same time, telling the parents what their son had done, destroying people family and letting you wear green hat. And you give a warning, if the whole affair doesn't stop, ask them to buy their casket first. If this comes to police affair, you always claim that you doesn't know anything and you were somewhere else.

If the boyfriend are smart, he will leave you alone and your wife dare not confront you because she has done something bad behind your back. Remember, If your wife confront you, you should shown her what you have on your hand and threaten to expose her to her parents. Remember, change your will so that if you got anything happen you, everything will go to your parents or children and not a cents goes to her.

"It is the parents fault if the son are not taught manners."

[onlytellu]

Bro, keep your cool when you approached your wife openly. What if there might be some misunderstanding and out of anger, you said something hurtful to her. A mirror once broken will still have cracks even if you mend it. On the other hand, ask yourself how "heavy" the sexual content her ex msg to her. If you really cannot stand it, hire a PI to do an investigation or secretly tail them to see if they are behaving intimately together. Remember, anger does not solve anything but make matter worse.

[Mango]

Thanks for the advise.
Personally, i am not angry, but disappointed. i feel like being cheated by the one i trust most. You will understand if you been throught the same thing. I love my wife so much, and i care about her. After I see the SMS, I feel lost, and still disappointment.
Sorry, i am not able to hiring the privited detector after her. Her ex is somewhere in KL, it is unlikely they will meet, unless he or she make some travel.
For the sexual sms part, there are like, which sex position they like, and how often of her sexual activities. and some more that I have no time to read. Do you think what if the gals take this way? If a gals you know from ICQ or IRC that about this, you will know you definately can get her into bed.
I dont hv the gut to raise this matter to her, I am so scare somehow if this will make a big quarrel between us. Since we know from the first day, we have never had a quarrel.
Ai.... sometimes, I think, i go HC, TN shop, Pub and flirt with tonne of gals, what big deal with the sms? Haha... if i really can accept this, problem solve

[mustachio]

Consider hiring a PI to ascertain. Dun jump to conclusions yet. Still can talk things over if you can forgive n forget.

2 cents worth. Good Luck!

[mayday]

Originally Posted by Mango

Ai.... sometimes, I think, i go HC, TN shop, Pub and flirt with tonne of gals, what big deal with the sms? Haha... if i really can accept this, problem solve

see? u have the answer alr. since the guy in KL..and most prob wun meet up, i actually see no probs.

tho can understand tt u feel pissed cos ur wife is talking sex w others. but remember that technically, she still not giving u green hat as quoted from u, its just their own sexual preference and nothing about sex with each other...

TC bro.

[sadfa]

Originally Posted by Mango

I have been married for years. My relationship with my wife is very good and steady. Everyday, she gives me a kiss before we head for our working place. And every here and then, I will buy her presents. I still have very strong feeling about her.

bro, please, get ready a backdoor for yourself:

1. for many women, if u send sms saying how u like to fuck your ex n what position she like, they cant take it. its not the cheating that hurts, but the betrayal in your feelings. if u love your wife, u shouldnt have such feelings for your ex. btw 30 sms in one day like that, its not reminiscing about old times hor.
2. even if ex is in kl, sending 30 sms a day means something is wrong w your relationship or she have some lingering feelings for him. u all married for so many years, u have to carefully examine your marriage n see what is lacking.
3. anyway get backdoor ready, dont b caught unaware n gabra when the bomb drop one day.

[diesel]

1. Good! You can do home cleaning. That shows that you are a tidy person.
2. Yes, it may not be right to touch your people's belongings. To me, (in your case) a lawful husband has the right to touch your wife's mobile-phone and that's nothing wrong with that!
3. You have to make clear of this point first. Are they seeing each other?
4. If the above point no. 2 is yes, Observe her carefully.

We, brothers here can provide you with our views and advises. Return to forum and update us if you want to seek further helps.

[asdfghjkl]

u have to be real decisive..