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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #1  
Old 11-03-2021, 01:34 PM
mrbigsword mrbigsword is offline
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Need advice for dating a woman 8 years older than I am.

Currently, I am in an 8 years relationship with a woman that is 8 years my senior.

We started the relationship when I am in my 20s and I am now in my 30s.

Let’s call her Janice.

We met each other at work.

One night, we messaged over work-related issues. Eventually, we spoke about other topics rather than work.

From our meet-ups, I realised that she was married with 1 kid. She was unhappy with her marriage as her husband cheated on her many years ago. They are still together it’s because of the child.

Soon, our conversations became a daily affair.

In retrospect, I could still remember my first girlfriend I had was in secondary school. However, things did not work out and we broke up.

Thus, when Janice came, I am not sure if it’s because of loneliness or I am interested in her.

I spoke to my friends about it. There were many viewpoints. Some said it’s wrong to pursue a married woman. Others gave the usual advice of “age is just a number”

One day Janice shared her feelings with me and I decided to give it a shot.

However, as times passes, the honey starts to taste bad. I realised that she is a possessive person. I can’t speak or look at girls. Sometimes, when a very attractive lady walked passed, she accused me of looking when I did not.

To be honest, at that point in time, I thought this inconvenience was part of this relationship. I thought it’s normal for her to feel insecure. After all, we are 8 years apart.

Soon things became worse, when I went out with my friends, we will start quarrelling.

I thought it was my fault because I met my friends more than I met her. I was young and inexperience as I always thought if you have a girlfriend, you cannot abandon your friends.

One night, I was out drinking with my good friends. I quarrelled with her over the text again. The exchange was very heated that eventually, her husband discovered the affair. My friend thought she was lying about the whole issue to get my attention. However, it is true.

To cut the long story short, they divorced.

However, since the affair, I have not spoken to my friends for years as I fear that she might become angry.

I felt that my friends did not believe me at that point in time and she did not like them.

Overall, the issue was my fault for not bridging the gap well.

Throughout, the years, she became very possessive, to a point that I have to see her every day, and she threatened to commit suicide if I ever leave her.

Our quarrels over her possessiveness led me to keep within myself.

In addition, I have long switched off all my emotions.

She is very nice to me and my family. Every difficulties and adversity, she will be there for me. To add on, she knows most of my secrets and aspirations.

At times, I secretly hope she leaves me with no consequence.

I am not sure if I am with her out of fear and gratitude.
  #2  
Old 11-03-2021, 05:17 PM
cocky1234 cocky1234 is offline
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Re: Need advice for dating a woman 8 years older than I am.

Mind share your girl ctc. I think you are not suitable for her.
  #3  
Old 11-03-2021, 08:53 PM
mrbigsword mrbigsword is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cocky1234 View Post
Mind share your girl ctc. I think you are not suitable for her.
Haha sorry bro.
  #4  
Old 11-03-2021, 09:44 PM
Bullshitlar Bullshitlar is offline
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Re: Need advice for dating a woman 8 years older than I am.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cocky1234 View Post
Mind share your girl ctc. I think you are not suitable for her.
Always got this type of people around.....pls lar this is a normal girl not a chicken. Who the fk will share? Crazy
  #5  
Old 12-03-2021, 10:01 AM
hickory2 hickory2 is online now
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Re: Need advice for dating a woman 8 years older than I am.

See. Should never have gotten involved with a married woman.
  #6  
Old 12-03-2021, 11:45 AM
mrbigsword mrbigsword is offline
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Originally Posted by hickory2 View Post
See. Should never have gotten involved with a married woman.
You have a valid point. I only start thinking about it when I am older.
  #7  
Old 12-03-2021, 01:25 PM
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kopigaogao kopigaogao is offline
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Re: Need advice for dating a woman 8 years older than I am.

U think u will ever ask her to divorce and then u marry her?

If u r ready for this, ask her to do it...if she doesn't then there's a good reason to move to another gal u plan to marry...

In Chinese words its call 以退为进
  #8  
Old 12-03-2021, 04:41 PM
mrbigsword mrbigsword is offline
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Re: Need advice for dating a woman 8 years older than I am.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kopigaogao View Post
U think u will ever ask her to divorce and then u marry her?

If u r ready for this, ask her to do it...if she doesn't then there's a good reason to move to another gal u plan to marry...

In Chinese words its call 以退为进
Bro she is already divorced. Many years ago liao.
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Old 12-03-2021, 04:52 PM
peksync peksync is offline
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Re: Need advice for dating a woman 8 years older than I am.

Sad to say despite whatever happened in the past 8 years and whatever rights or wrongs that were done, her current behaviour is a ticking time bomb.

Not sure whether it's still worth your time & efforts, especially if you had to sacrifice your friends and maybe other stuff as well.

Of course to be fair she might have another story from her POV but my 2 cents' based on what is written here.
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  #10  
Old 12-03-2021, 05:27 PM
mrbigsword mrbigsword is offline
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Re: Need advice for dating a woman 8 years older than I am.

Quote:
Originally Posted by peksync View Post
Sad to say despite whatever happened in the past 8 years and whatever rights or wrongs that were done, her current behaviour is a ticking time bomb.

Not sure whether it's still worth your time & efforts, especially if you had to sacrifice your friends and maybe other stuff as well.


Of course to be fair she might have another story from her POV but my 2 cents' based on what is written here.
You are right. There is also another side of the coin from her pov. I was young and naive to make certain promises, but I feel that I can't go back on these promises. I did sacrificed but now I am not sure if it's out of fear.
  #11  
Old 12-03-2021, 06:48 PM
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Xgenre Xgenre is offline
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Re: Need advice for dating a woman 8 years older than I am.

Did you marry her?
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Old 12-03-2021, 10:36 PM
peksync peksync is offline
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Re: Need advice for dating a woman 8 years older than I am.

All the best, decide and move on.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrbigsword View Post
You are right. There is also another side of the coin from her pov. I was young and naive to make certain promises, but I feel that I can't go back on these promises. I did sacrificed but now I am not sure if it's out of fear.
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  #13  
Old 12-03-2021, 10:48 PM
mrbigsword mrbigsword is offline
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Originally Posted by Xgenre View Post
Did you marry her?
Nope. Only in a relationship
  #14  
Old 13-03-2021, 12:18 AM
mrbigsword mrbigsword is offline
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Re: Need advice for dating a woman 8 years older than I am.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TomMAffolter View Post
you mean when you young just think with your dick, now older and esp with her temper you think with your brain?
Which is smarter brain or dick? I think you know the right thing to do, maybe you just need conformation.
Truth is the old fashioned ideas of seeing marriage as a way to improve social standing, reinforcing business arrangements etc has merit, marry for "love" which is rarely long lasting, and in light of the heavy financial ramifications to men in divorce, marry for "love" is foolish.
If you have prospects and options you would never associate with a married women except as a NSA "free" fuck, if you have no options, and think a bad tempered single mom with a burden of a kid is a good idea then you probably need your head checked.
When you say you cant go back on your promises...what thats sense of honor is worth you throwing away your life?
Its funny when i read you say how she unhappy with her ex as he cheated on him yet she hooked up with you before she divorced him, what 2 wrongs make a right?...cant imagine she being that moral herself, so is she really worth keeping a naïve promise
Yes, I was thinking with my dick when I was younger. Honestly, I lacked confidence when I was younger, thus the part you mentioned about options gave me a rude awakening. There are truths in your statements. To be honest, deep down I am actually afraid. Part of me feels guilty if I am doing the wrong thing, by letting someone take a heavy hit. Her husband initiated the divorce.
  #15  
Old 13-03-2021, 01:02 AM
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Re: Need advice for dating a woman 8 years older than I am.

I think TS need to be upfront with her as in discussing that he doesnt have the intention to get ‘married’ see what her reaction and decide from there.
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