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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help. This section is sponsored by Yakuza.

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  #1  
Old 05-04-2021, 04:49 AM
poorpixie poorpixie is offline
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Question Dirvorce proceedings.

Morning everyone!
I am a 42 years old housewife and wants to end a marriage in peace.
Me and my husband bought an EC as matrimonial home and it has now turned into a private condominium .
However due to certain personal issues, I have since moved out of our matrimonial home and my daughter lives with him and my mother in law.
I quit my career for my firstborn and take cares of her since.
Now that she is 18 years old and I have been living in a rented apartment with my elderly parents for almost 4 years.
Yet we are not divorced at all.
I want to seek advise from some of you who have been through the same situation as me. The more similar the more helpful it is for me.
I have zero savings because my freelance work barely covers my expenses and both my elderly parents who are not working too.
I want to get a hdb flat so that i dont have to pay for unnecessary rent for the rest of my life.
What happens to the cpf Ive contributed for the matrimonial home?
And if we end the marriage in papers, what are the next thing to expect and forsee for me?
Can i get an hdb flat since im already 42 years old?
But i am penniless. So how does it work?
Thanks in advance. Much appreciated.
Please help.. Im lost.
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  #2  
Old 05-04-2021, 11:36 AM
cleyeo cleyeo is offline
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Re: Dirvorce proceedings.

if your hdb is sold, your contribution for the hob will be returned to your cpf (plus interest).
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Old 05-04-2021, 01:08 PM
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Re: Dirvorce proceedings.

your portion of the matrimonial home will be credited back into your CPF account with interest (for the amount paid using your CPF). Amounts above this will be paid in cash to you.
But, after deducting all the outstanding property loan first.
Example:

Sales proceeds = 1.5m
Outstanding balance of property loan = 300k
Say 50/50 share of proceeds, your proceeds = (1.5m - 300k) / 2 = 600k
Amount used to pay for property from CPF account, with interest = 350k
Cash proceeds available to you = 600k - 350k = 250k

For purchase of another property, you can use your CPF balances also.
42 yrs old can purchase HDB flat. But probably a resale.
If you want BTO you will have to find someone to form a family cluster with to apply (children, parents). Then join ballot. Then wait for it to be completed.
Take note that BTO projects now have an expected completion time of 5 - 7 years after applied for the BTO.
So your best bet is still resale. If too expensive, then just adjust your expectations downwards and you can surely afford it without any loans.
There are housing grants available too, even for singles. But not a lot.
If you are not working, dont expect to get any housing loans approved for you.
And be prepared to have a few thousand dollars to pay for fees, Option to purchase, etc.
My advice for you, is to get a fulltime job meanwhile. Even if you dont plan to do that job for many years.
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  #4  
Old 05-04-2021, 01:14 PM
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funboi funboi is offline
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Re: Dirvorce proceedings.

If confirm wana divorce? Faster go file the divorce bah cuz it will take time (years) to reach the final judgement.

As for properties etc either both privately settle by selling and split the money or contest for % shares in court. Sometime wife may receive more % than husband sometime based on their contribution. e.g. when buy the property time is 50-50% shares but your husband all the while alone contributing but cuz you are housewife so your contribution is also noted therefore for some reasons you ask for 60% instead 50% and the court may award you or +- award you.

If you think you deserve more % or husband should pay some money for your monthly maintenance, feel free to justify your sacrifice made.

Get a lawyer bah they will know what to ask for you.

As for getting HDB etc. Settle your divorce first then talk about that cuz as of now, you are property owner.
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Old 05-04-2021, 06:54 PM
poorpixie poorpixie is offline
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Re: Dirvorce proceedings.

Thank you all for the kind advises .
It is a hdb turned private property.
I will not want the matrimonial home to be sold. Because i want my daughter to live in the house she grows up in.
Therfore if he continues to stau with my daughter in that house and we are divorced
What is the next step when we sign the papers?
Lets say im not asking for any maintenance or alimony.
All i want is a peaceful divorce ending. I dont wish to create any scene as i dont wish ajy of our fault to affect my daughter's life in any way.
I just want to get a flat of my own.
So do i need to fork out the cpf in cash after i sign the papers?
Please note that i am penniless and no more cpf as all wiped out for first home.
I am doing freelance work now and everything is used to pay for rent and family expenses.
Am i able to immediately get a hdb flat after signing papers? Without forking any money with hdb loan?
Thank you everyone.
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  #6  
Old 05-04-2021, 07:29 PM
larue larue is offline
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Re: Dirvorce proceedings.

You moved out 4 years ago? And divorce was never discussed?

Has he been providing for you in any way? Your access to your daughter?

You really, really need a lawyer. Don't wait any longer.

Start preparing details of all your contributions, monetary and homekeeping. Be very detailed.

What you did every day, what your career was, last drawn salary, how much money he gave you every month and so on.

Only an experienced lawyer can advise you.
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  #7  
Old 05-04-2021, 08:51 PM
poorpixie poorpixie is offline
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Re: Dirvorce proceedings.

A big thank you to everybody. Although this is an odd place to seek help.
But I really don't have any friends . I gave my all to the family since the day I got married. So to see such responses here makes my eyes well up.
Now all i want is to move on with my life without disrupting anyone's.
I want to end the marriage with peace. I have no intention to hurt anyone from this.
So there is no need to go through any "evidence" .
I dont want to put my daughter through any kind of hurt. She adores and loves her dad alot. And that it shall be.
All I want now is to be able to get a hdb flat using my name.
If im having a freelance job, does that means i will have to contribute cpf to myself in order to get loan from hdb?
I really cannot afford a lawyer. .
And so going this solo.
We can also sign the dirvorce papers in peace right?
Can we do that immediately? How do I go about it?
Also on his part, if we divorced and my name is withdrawn.. does he need to pay for anything at all? I dont want to cause him any financial stress.
Really. All i want to is move on with my life.
Please help. Anyone in similar circumstances?
Big thanks.
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  #8  
Old 05-04-2021, 09:48 PM
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Re: Dirvorce proceedings.

go legal aid check if you are eligible for free or subsidized legal service first.

https://lab.mlaw.gov.sg/legal-servic...andled-by-lab/

if they deem you are not eligible then you go find money engage a lawyer pay instalment.

Divorce is not just sign paper so simple. If so simple then won't take years.

If you wish your kid to remain under your husband custody no problem. So long he is willing to take it.

As for the property, both parties must come to an agreement on how to split it because your CPF/Monies is in it. e.g. you want take back your share but both don't want sell it to another person so simply ask your husband buy over your share at the value you deem acceptable. In event of dispute such as he not willing to buy over at the price or can't afford to buy over then you guys must think of alternative plans.

I emphasize again, its not sign paper so simple because with/without lawyer representation still must go court to let judge settle. There be interim judgement and final judgement to give green light to dispose the property under your name. The fastest divorce case no doubt is uncontested one whereby both parties already have mutual understanding. But where money/property is concern, fix that first.

As a private property owner, you are not allow to buy HDB flat. Therefore your name must be remove from the existing property via sale or transfer of ownership. Once you completed the transfer be it to your husband or another person, you be free to buy HDB. Please don't stupidly perform transfer of ownership without finding out the value of your property in open market first.

Be realistic about it because its real life living.

Once you no longer a property owner, you can start buying HDB from open market aka resale or directly from HDB via BTO/SOB.

What you can do is appeal to HDB for rental flat first with your parents however HDB will review case by case on if you are eligible to rent directly.

Do not put too much emotional attachment to your existing property. Go find out how much market value it is now then decide if selling it be best option for both. Again if your husband want to keep it he can always buy it over. Just make sure you are not losing a lot over the transaction because you need CPF/Money to buy your new flat. Do note if you used 100k in CPF 10 years ago, if now put back into CPF also need pay the interest etc so its not 100k only.
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  #9  
Old 06-04-2021, 03:49 AM
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Re: Dirvorce proceedings.

Sis you are one of the most rare females in Sg (or maybe even in the whole world), your hubby is the luckiest man alive. Hope everything goes well for you.
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  #10  
Old 06-04-2021, 10:03 AM
larue larue is offline
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Re: Dirvorce proceedings.

Quote:
Originally Posted by poorpixie View Post
Now all i want is to move on with my life without disrupting anyone's.
I want to end the marriage with peace. I have no intention to hurt anyone from this.
So there is no need to go through any "evidence" .
I dont want to put my daughter through any kind of hurt. She adores and loves her dad alot. And that it shall be.
'Evidence' is not to hurt anyone, it is so that the judge can rule appropriately what you should get from any assets to be divided. Without 'evidence' how is anyone supposed to know how the assets should be split?

You can actually accept less if you want to.

And maybe you should talk to your ex now and maybe you can settle all terms first before going to a lawyer, then can engage the same lawyer to handle all paperwork very cheaply and quickly.
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  #11  
Old 06-04-2021, 12:20 PM
fallen11 fallen11 is offline
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Re: Dirvorce proceedings.

Quote:
Originally Posted by poorpixie View Post
Thank you all for the kind advises .
It is a hdb turned private property.
I will not want the matrimonial home to be sold. Because i want my daughter to live in the house she grows up in.
Therfore if he continues to stau with my daughter in that house and we are divorced
What is the next step when we sign the papers?
Lets say im not asking for any maintenance or alimony.
All i want is a peaceful divorce ending. I dont wish to create any scene as i dont wish ajy of our fault to affect my daughter's life in any way.
I just want to get a flat of my own.
So do i need to fork out the cpf in cash after i sign the papers?
Please note that i am penniless and no more cpf as all wiped out for first home.
I am doing freelance work now and everything is used to pay for rent and family expenses.
Am i able to immediately get a hdb flat after signing papers? Without forking any money with hdb loan?
Thank you everyone.
If you're looking for divorce
If your matrimonial home is a private property
And you're not looking to sell the matrimonial home after divorce (do you mean your ex spouse will buy your share of the home? or just you keep your share but both agree not to sell the home?)
Yes its possible.

But if you dont sell the matrimonial home, i dont know how are you going to purchase a flat for yourself without $$$$$$$.
Freelance job. Extremely hard to get property loans. Loan applications are based on your fixed salary for full time employment usually. Freelancing dont earn fixed salary.
Which is why i recommended you to get a full time job, at least for now, especially so when your freelancing income cant even cover your expenses.
Get a full time job, work for half a year. take the payslips and apply for a property loan. Whether you decide to keep that job after that, is your own problem as long as you can service the mortgage every month.

Have to be realistic here. Penniless + no more CPF balances = how are you going to buy a flat? Even if you can get a loan, you'll still need money / CPF to pay the min downpayment of 20% purchase price.
be prepared to have a change of lifestyle. Not realistic to get everything you want even without money to pay for it.
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  #12  
Old 06-04-2021, 12:57 PM
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Re: Dirvorce proceedings.

If your name is in the HDB turned Condo property, you will not be eligible to buy a HDB.

But okay to buy another condo with higher stamp duty..
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Old 06-04-2021, 02:39 PM
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Re: Dirvorce proceedings.

Google pro bono legal services sg you can visit the Family court free legal clinic or give them a call.

Alternatively there is also Aware website : aware.org.sg/womens-care-centre/legal-services/

Last edited by EtherC; 06-04-2021 at 02:53 PM.
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Old 06-04-2021, 03:05 PM
iluvbreast iluvbreast is offline
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Re: Dirvorce proceedings.

Quote:
Originally Posted by poorpixie View Post
Morning everyone!
I am a 42 years old housewife and wants to end a marriage in peace....
I have zero savings because my freelance work barely covers my expenses and both my elderly parents who are not working too.
I want to get a hdb flat so that i dont have to pay for unnecessary rent for the rest of my life.
What happens to the cpf Ive contributed for the matrimonial home?
And if we end the marriage in papers, what are the next thing to expect and forsee for me?
Can i get an hdb flat since im already 42 years old?
But i am penniless. So how does it work?
Thanks in advance. Much appreciated.
Please help.. Im lost.
Quote:
Originally Posted by poorpixie View Post
Thank you all for the kind advises .
It is a hdb turned private property.
I will not want the matrimonial home to be sold. Because i want my daughter to live in the house she grows up in.
Therfore if he continues to stau with my daughter in that house and we are divorced
What is the next step when we sign the papers?
Lets say im not asking for any maintenance or alimony.
All i want is a peaceful divorce ending. I dont wish to create any scene as i dont wish ajy of our fault to affect my daughter's life in any way.
I just want to get a flat of my own.
So do i need to fork out the cpf in cash after i sign the papers?
Please note that i am penniless and no more cpf as all wiped out for first home.
I am doing freelance work now and everything is used to pay for rent and family expenses.
Am i able to immediately get a hdb flat after signing papers? Without forking any money with hdb loan?
Thank you everyone.
Since you mentioned you do not wish for your matrimonial home to be sold, you have the following options:

1) You can discuss with your husband to see if he is willing to buy over your share of that Condo. He can pay you what you withdrew from your CPF OA + accrued interest or if your husband is generous, he can pay you your share of the property at market value.

Then you may deposit the money back to your CPF account.

2) If your husband don't wish to buy over your share, then you can own part of the house, since it has privatized.

Then the next important question, can you get an HDB flat? NO. If the situation is #2. Although they say you can appeal, the chances are slim.

Now assuming you decided to go with situation #1, get your husband to buy over your share of your matrimonial home. Then can you get a HDB flat? Maybe, maybe not. This is because with no employment (hence no regular income), you are not likely to qualify for HDB loan.

At age 42, with regular employment, your loan tenure is likely to be 20 years (with appeal maybe 25 years) the cut off age is usually our official retirement age.

Bottom line if you are not employed, then you don't qualify for the loan.

Then how can you get an HDB flat? Well if you bought your condo then at $900,000, with you coming $100,000 and your husband coming out $200,000 from both your CPF, then you both took up a loan for the balanced.

Say now your condo is worth say 1.5 million and your husband is willing to give you say 30% then you have $500,000. Out of this, you will need deposit back to your CPF OA $100,000+accured interest, and the balance you keep as cash.

So now you may use whatever you put back into your CPF + the cash you have to buy your flat.
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Old 06-04-2021, 03:07 PM
iluvbreast iluvbreast is offline
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Re: Dirvorce proceedings.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BroRelax View Post
If your name is in the HDB turned Condo property, you will not be eligible to buy a HDB.

But okay to buy another condo with higher stamp duty..
I beg to differ, you can buy a HDB so long as you dispose your private property within 6 month from your HDB purchase.
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