Do you get bored with your wife/gf?

[driedlemon3]

After years together do u still hold hands with your wife/gf? kiss her when you are home? Make effort to keep romance alive... or u stop after some time together?If you have stopped, is it because u felt tht u already "won" cos she is with u? u got bored with her? cos she aged and no longer as pretty? or u no longer love her?
I am asking to understand why cos many women including myself felt that romance seems to have an expiration with men... I know it takes both parties to keep it alive just trying to understand what are the common reasons. Thanks for sharing

[need_it]

Originally Posted by driedlemon3

After years together do u still hold hands with your wife/gf? kiss her when you are home? Make effort to keep romance alive... or u stop after some time together?If you have stopped, is it because u felt tht u already "won" cos she is with u? u got bored with her? cos she aged and no longer as pretty? or u no longer love her?
I am asking to understand why cos many women including myself felt that romance seems to have an expiration with men... I know it takes both parties to keep it alive just trying to understand what are the common reasons. Thanks for sharing

I think in many cases, it is because either one or both parties have taken each other and the relationship for granted. Romantic gestures come easy at the start of the relationship and I think it is normal that the intoxicating feeling eases off after the initial stage. This is the stage where the parties need to inject more efforts not to take the other for granted and to freshen things up. Humble two cents’ worth.

[Kovovo]

Everytime hold her hand she knows I need at least a bj liao. How to be bored?

[Xgenre]

As time passes, there is a comfort zone, a sense of familiarity. Familiarity breeds contempt and complacency. Most Singaporean guys are not emotionally expressive. Kissing the wife daily when he reaches home is not common. What are the minimum standards you think are reasonable? I used to think just being there by her side whenever I am needed is enough but that is seen as passive and unromantic. There are many guys who are good at sweet-talking but when a problem arises, they will not be there to take care and solve the issue. Apparently, girls like such sweet talking guys more than Mr Dependable.

We can give you many ideas and steps to take but the first step is always the hardest. Is he still willing to work to keep the romance? If he isn't, then whatever ideas you get here will not work. There is also a chance he will be turned off by what suggestions you give about keeping the romance alive. To you, those ideas are just suggestions. To him, those ideas may seem like requests/demands. If he doesn't love you the way you wished to be loved, will you still be willing to love him as expressively as you do now?

If he is not willing to try and you are not about to give up, then hopefully he will change his thinking over time. I suggest reading up on The 5 Love Languages (go google) and applying it in your life towards him. Hopefully, things get better and the sparks are re-ignited.

This is an anonymous forum. Perhaps you will like to give us some background about yourself and the problems you face. While a solution may not always be found, being able to let your frustration out is also a form of therapy. Some issues are so personal you cannot share with friends and family. Just make sure whatever you share cannot be easily traced back to you. Just a general idea.

[Jjcoolidge]

Originally Posted by driedlemon3

After years together do u still hold hands with your wife/gf? kiss her when you are home? Make effort to keep romance alive... or u stop after some time together?If you have stopped, is it because u felt tht u already "won" cos she is with u? u got bored with her? cos she aged and no longer as pretty? or u no longer love her?
I am asking to understand why cos many women including myself felt that romance seems to have an expiration with men... I know it takes both parties to keep it alive just trying to understand what are the common reasons. Thanks for sharing

Hi Driedlemon3, thanks for sharing what must be a very difficult issue for you and many ladies out there. Romance does seem to have an expiration date when the couple get comfortable with each other and other life issues take a higher precedence. It is a reality, but you do not have to be resigned to a relationship devoid of romance, tenderness or even sex.

Men are just as if not more susceptible than ladies to being lulled into a sense of benign contentment in a relationship. It is easy to blame work stress, financial burdens etc. Men just want to be at peace within their household. This sometimes results in a type of emotional detachment by men as they try to de-stress. Men usually are not predisposed to use communication as a de-stress mechanism.

Ladies, being blessed with greater emotional intuition, you are usually the first to detect this 'void.' Talk to your man with honesty and objectivity. Notice i do not use the word 'emotionally.' The surest way to get into an argument with a man is by bringing emotions into the situation. This might sound counterintuitive to ladies, but that's the way a man's brain is wired. Get your man into problem-solving mode and he would be more open to work with you.

Now, to address the elephant in the room. Some men unfortunately do get tired of their partners for a myriad of shallow reasons. Being argumentative, getting out of shape, getting too busy with their professions (yes, lady professionals), or with the kids etc. If honest objective communication can't get you anywhere with him, seek professional help. It's great that you acknowledge you too have a part to play in the solution.

[VoicesWithin]

Married 20 years. Kids teenagers ady. Still kiss my wife everyday. Hug in morning. Hold hands when out. She is still my gf, lover, wife, parenting partner and companion. So no, i am not bored with her.

I have seen many who have failed in the relationships/marriages. These are the things I have learned from them.

1. Zero down the quarrels. Sure, you want things your way. So does your partner. You win your quarrels, you lose your r/s, period.

2. Absent quarrels, then you can keep the humor and teasing alive.

3. Keep your expectations reasonable. You want an Angelina Jolie face with a Maria Ozawa sex appetite, make sure you can provide like Elon Musk and look like Brad Pitt.

Meaning don't expect anything from each other, including sex for guys romance for gals. You want romance 24/7 for 20 yrs. Your partner wants sex 6 times a day. Where does it end?

[ibanezjem555]

Agree with Bro.
Men needs that 20 mins of love then all done.. carry on with the day's routine ...
Women need that 20 mins spread out over 16 hours in the day.
Do hug and kiss yr wife n hold her hand.. after all the chionging, mental masturbation and wishful looking.. in the end, there will only be wife left.. the lady who stick with you thick and thin and endured all your rubbish..

[FreebiezWanker]

TS, u still in shape or have bloated up?

[Jjcoolidge]

Originally Posted by FreebiezWanker

TS, u still in shape or have bloated up?

Bro FreebiezWanker, with all due respect, even if TS was Miranda Kerr or Katie Perry, it doesn't make them any less immune to being in this situation.

[bigggbird69]

After so many years things do starts to get routine

[FreebiezWanker]

Originally Posted by Jjcoolidge

Bro FreebiezWanker, with all due respect, even if TS was Miranda Kerr or Katie Perry, it doesn't make them any less immune to being in this situation.

With all due respect, I beg to differ.

How to you give her a morning kiss if she looks like a pig? Think there's a bro here who even divorced his wife cos she starting bloating up.

But that's my own opinion...

[Jjcoolidge]

Originally Posted by FreebiezWanker

With all due respect, I beg to differ.

How to you give her a morning kiss if she looks like a pig? Think there's a bro here who even divorced his wife cos she starting bloating up.

But that's my own opinion...

Haha! If our ladies think that way, we'd be in trouble too.

[myluckyguy]

even when i get bored, i still have to make the effort to keep the relationship going, the cost to replace this when lost is just too high

[bigggbird69]

Originally Posted by myluckyguy

even when i get bored, i still have to make the effort to keep the relationship going, the cost to replace this when lost is just too high

It needs effort from both sides. sometimes can be challenging

[PandaFluff]

Originally Posted by driedlemon3

After years together do u still hold hands with your wife/gf? kiss her when you are home? Make effort to keep romance alive... or u stop after some time together?If you have stopped, is it because u felt tht u already "won" cos she is with u? u got bored with her? cos she aged and no longer as pretty? or u no longer love her?
I am asking to understand why cos many women including myself felt that romance seems to have an expiration with men... I know it takes both parties to keep it alive just trying to understand what are the common reasons. Thanks for sharing

One should never get complacent, that will mean inevitable failure no matter what aspect of what you do in life that is the main reason in today society why relationships fail.