Any married guys/ladies don’t wanna have kids

[Xgenre]

Originally Posted by lalaliang

what about take out the womb to make sure there’s no pregnancy in the future?

Take out the womb means hysterectomy? If yes, it means immediately menopause. She has to be on hormonal replacement therapy and can be quite devastating on her long term health. I don't think you can find a surgeon who will do with just purely for birth control. Go google (nexplanon implant). You can do a vasectomy too since you are sure you don't ever want kids. Why must all the birth control duty fall on the lady only?

[lilmei]

Ya lah. Selfish fucker like you really should not reproduce. Don't be a Chee Bye and get the vasectomy yourself. See a GP for referral, go to community hospital for procedure.

[lalaliang]

Originally Posted by Xgenre

Take out the womb means hysterectomy? If yes, it means immediately menopause. She has to be on hormonal replacement therapy and can be quite devastating on her long term health. I don't think you can find a surgeon who will do with just purely for birth control. Go google (nexplanon implant). You can do a vasectomy too since you are sure you don't ever want kids. Why must all the birth control duty fall on the lady only?

Didnt know there’s something like this.. thats why i wanna see if anyone here can give good advice.. thanks for pointing out. but of course this will be discussed with her if we really want to do anything. Its not a one side agreement. And may not even do anything about it at all..

[lalaliang]

Originally Posted by lilmei

Ya lah. Selfish fucker like you really should not reproduce. Don't be a Chee Bye and get the vasectomy yourself. See a GP for referral, go to community hospital for procedure.

Its actually people like you cursing people behind a keyboard that thinks it can boost up your ego by another % today that makes this society seem worst than before.. it was just a looking for advice and questions, why get so worked up dude? Relax lah..

[benq557]

Both of you can think when both get old, your CPF money, your saving and your property etc which both of you work throughout your life who do you want to give to? All to charity or your brother or your sister or let government decide for you when you pass away.

[MaggieMi]

Originally Posted by lalaliang

Its getting expensive nowadays..

Some white fuckers still say HDB flats are affordable

[VoicesWithin]

Originally Posted by lalaliang

Agree with this. It seems we are not ready yet, or even, talked about not having kids in the future already. But guys, if this is the case, is there a way to 100% stop unwanted preg? I mean i know condom but we know condoms are not 100% .what about take out the womb to make sure there’s no pregnancy in the future?

Take out womb? Lol

Don't make permanent decisions with vasectomy. You will never reproduce.

There is a female procedure called reversible ligation. Basically, the surgeon clips a part so that she will not get pregnant. It is reversible. Go Google.

My wife had it done after we decided we do not want any more kids. Works perfect. No more condom since.

[VoicesWithin]

I am married with kids. I know a good uni fren who is married with no kids. Now 30 years later, she just dotes on her nieces. As a couple, they have a lot more free time. A lot more cash.

Is she happy? I guess she is.

Is she lonely? She has her hubby. She has her job. Her peers talk about children during gatherings. She just has to find childless friends. Minor adjustments.

My advice. Keep an open mind. If you are not ready, you are not ready.

There will come a time when all your friends talk about baby stuffs. Maybe then your paternal and maternal instincts will surface.

Some things need time. I was so sure I will not have kids when I got married. Now I tell u how many kids I have, u will tio stun lol.

[lalaliang]

Originally Posted by benq557

Both of you can think when both get old, your CPF money, your saving and your property etc which both of you work throughout your life who do you want to give to? All to charity or your brother or your sister or let government decide for you when you pass away.

Have never thought of this yet..yes this is a legit concern too as to who to give our assets to when we die. Not sure if this is a worry for some of you who doesnt wanna have babies? As u cant actually bring $$ over when u die.. im not rich family unless one day lucky tio toto...so probably not as much worry as those millionaires but still a valid question for me and partner to consider.

[lalaliang]

Originally Posted by VoicesWithin

Take out womb? Lol

Don't make permanent decisions with vasectomy. You will never reproduce.

There is a female procedure called reversible ligation. Basically, the surgeon clips a part so that she will not get pregnant. It is reversible. Go Google.

My wife had it done after we decided we do not want any more kids. Works perfect. No more condom since.

Thanks. Of course i dont want to hurt anyone of my family going thru this decision together. Will have a lookout on this as an option.

And to ans some people about why vasec was one of the option as to prevent pregnancy 100% is because i dont want to be trapped in a situation where unplanned preg comes and have to choose to abort baby which i dont want to. I cant make myself to kill a life. It was an option but def i dont want bad things to happen to my partner thereafter.. so dont judge me based on some of the wuestions here cos we’re learning still

[lalaliang]

Originally Posted by VoicesWithin

I am married with kids. I know a good uni fren who is married with no kids. Now 30 years later, she just dotes on her nieces. As a couple, they have a lot more free time. A lot more cash.

Is she happy? I guess she is.

Is she lonely? She has her hubby. She has her job. Her peers talk about children during gatherings. She just has to find childless friends. Minor adjustments.

My advice. Keep an open mind. If you are not ready, you are not ready.

There will come a time when all your friends talk about baby stuffs. Maybe then your paternal and maternal instincts will surface.

Some things need time. I was so sure I will not have kids when I got married. Now I tell u how many kids I have, u will tio stun lol.

Happy for you bro!! We are not mentally ready. She’s getting 30 soon too. Which is passing of golden age soon for having babies

[havana]

No point getting married in the first place if not getting any child...

[VoicesWithin]

Originally Posted by lalaliang

Happy for you bro!! We are not mentally ready. She’s getting 30 soon too. Which is passing of golden age soon for having babies

Aiyo. 30 only. Chey! I thought what. Maternal and paternal instincts where got so fast surface. Your generation most people have it in their mid to late 30s. I know a married lady friend late 40s then suddenly want to have a child. And she went ahead with it.

Golden age is not 30 lah. After 35, the risk of having a down syndrome kid increases. So gynaecologist will pierce baby bag to draw liquid to test. Minor risk. So people always advise best age to have kids is <35.

[huareyou]

married, no kids. will never want to have kids. wife wishes to have, but she understands that it's a two way street.

like the bros here have pointed out, having a kid is a commitment. no refunds, etc.

i'd also point out that we'd also have to be mentally prepared if the child is different, and not in a good way. health and mental issues. are we mentally and emotionally prepared to handle that? the financial part can be dealt with along the way, but it's the strength to follow through if the child has a life long issue - i think this is a lot harder to handle. i don't think i can deal with this either.

personally, i think it's a bit irresponsible to ourselves and the hypothetical kid if we imagine only the most pleasant scenario when having kids. for example, the kid being obedient or receptive, basically a guai kid. i can't stand kids, because of how noisy and rowdy they can be. more importantly, i don't think i am capable of handling a rowdy kid in a meaningful manner without scarring the poor chap for life or materially altering the mental state to the point where the kid will grow up to have issues.

what i hate more is putting a kid in the world only for the guy to realise that he or she basically can't do what they want to do, or that they have to run the rat race they fucking hate and didn't even have a choice of not participating in it (but not like anyone of us here have a choice either right?). Even if they decide to quit the rat race, it's not as if there's a viable alternative route for the kid to achieve their goals.

i know we can't all have our cake and eat it too, but shit, as parents, wouldn't we want the kid to have both?

i refuse to have kids just for the sake of having kids, have the kid as an insurance / investment policy. to me at least, i think these are the most selfish reasons to have kids.

all that being said, there's never a good time to have kids - there'll always be another commitment, another project, another goal or hurdle that will get in the way, or that we disagree with gahment policies for education and workforce where we can only see the effects 15-20 years down the road and realise it's fine. you have to just fuck it all, make time and space for the kid, just like how you got to make the kid.

biggest upside to not having kids? basically freedom. worst thing? just not having the experience of being a parent i guess? but i don't see this as a loss.

[hakone]

With the current climate, environment, population, conflicts, stress etc issues we all facing, 50 years from now it is likely even tougher to live on this planet. I probably think twice whether want to bring a child to this world and have him/her suffer.