Repressed/Unvented sexual urges.

[Cartraff]

Last 5 years, only had intercourse once ( if memory serves correctly)
I can get it whenever where paid is concerned, but just not interested.
I think the diys I have done in past 5 years is equal if not more than the days combined in the past 5 years, sometimes 3-4 times each day, all while being in a full time job.

Its a case of the body is willing, but spirit is weak.
Just not interested in whats for sale, but have been trying hard to work towards going for one, just for the sake of venting.

I am not sure if this is a side effect of not venting, but whenever I interact with non commercial ladies and if they happened to be my type, and when they say something like :

"Is there anything else I can do/help you with "

In my mind I would be screaming/yelling : " Yeah, lets FUCK !!! BLOW ME, SHOW ME YOUR BREASTS !!! BEND OVER AND LET ME HELP MYSELF TO YOU. I WANT YOU TO GIVE ME A GOOD TIME !!! "

The bad thing is that we were interacting in a professional capacity and I had to articulate/express my thoughts but all the time thinking I want to bang you and my other non sexual thoughts.......what thoughts......?

Can't and do not want to have a relationship, and so stuck in Body horny af, spirit goes extra limp.

Guess I am stuck between a hard place and a limp spirit.....