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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #31  
Old 07-11-2019, 12:53 AM
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iloveu4ever iloveu4ever is offline
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Re: Dilemma and need advice

On the other hand, here is a girl whom appears to be everything my current gf is, except prettier and more adventurous. My current gf doesn't cook or do housework, while this girl takes care of her place very well (she bought her own place and currently lives together with her mum). She bakes, washes, cooks and I can see she is also very good wife material

What will you do if you were in my shoes?


Very obvious from above u want the new girl...the grass is always greener on the other side. But be aware that women (incuding men) will always put on their best front to attract what is deemed as scarce resources, which is in this case, its u since u are attached. She seems like a perfect lady, at least in ur eyes. But she sound too good to be true...else why she is still single after so long. I been thru this stage before...ur current partner will never be perfect, but if u really do love ur partner, u just need one good reason to continue loving her instead of focusing on her flaws n givng urself reasons n justifications to do the switch. I lost it all...but u can still save urs.
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  #32  
Old 07-11-2019, 01:05 AM
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iloveu4ever iloveu4ever is offline
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Re: Dilemma and need advice

Quote:
Originally Posted by submarine View Post
Thanks guys and gals for all the advice here.

My biggest point is my current gf's lack of sex drive. She is just not very interested in it. I think sexual compatibility is very important in a relationship, and I don't know why I took 4 years before really thinking very hard about it.

Perhaps I was in the comfort zone during these 4 years and I thought she would change for the better (sexually) after marriage. We discussed deeply about this before, about my wishes and how I hope we can try to mutually satisfy one another. However, the more I think about it, the more I conclude that things won't improve.

This is one of life's most difficult decisions
There is a reason why u took 4 yers n were in ur comfort zone. Studies have shown that most guys usually will stay in a relationship or marriage despite the flaws of their partner. They will usually initiate break up or divorce if there is a new partner, else they will usually just bear with the nonsense.

So yeah, there u have it....u "woke up" when this new alternative came along and flood urself with justifications why the current gf has to go for the new gal.

Anyway, there is really no point to say further. Do wat u have to do n i hope u enjoy everything while it lasts.
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  #33  
Old 07-11-2019, 10:42 PM
mookie117 mookie117 is offline
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Re: Dilemma and need advice

why not try spicing things up with your current gf?
hope this brings no offense to anyone but tbh when asking most of my guy friends about their sex life, most singaporean guys have problems being adventurous and that results to boring sex. communicate with your current girlfriend and try new stuff. you might get more than you can handle xD
  #34  
Old 01-12-2019, 11:57 PM
c0cktailov3r c0cktailov3r is offline
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Re: Dilemma and need advice

Ts , please do not marry your gf now if u feel *u let her down* if u do not go through with it.

Because it will be worse if u ever decide to divorce one day down the road.

It is better to talk it out and try to end things amicably now , before u regret your decision to get married. Women will lose more as they age, while men are deemed more desirable. Life is unfair already. Do not destroy the life and future of your gf if u cannot even stay committed before marriage.

After marriage, moving in together, u will focus even more on her flaws. And there will always be a nagging feeling of "what if u had been with Girl No.2 instead"
U will always feel unhappy. And tend to blame your unhappiness on your wife.

Marriage is supposed to be sacred and holy. Not for u to walk into it without even thinking properly.

Dont do anything now that u may regret later.
  #35  
Old 02-12-2019, 01:38 PM
expatamerican expatamerican is offline
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Re: Dilemma and need advice

Dude. Nobody's sex life gets better after marriage. If you are unsatisfied now you will be much more unsatisfied after getting married. Sexual attraction is critical to intimacy. If your gf isn't interested in sex its because of other reasons (if there is no medical reason) that are related to intimacy. Seems you should have been platonic friends with your girlfriend and dated the other one! If you do marry your gf you need to tell her that you should be free to get sex elsewhere since your desires are so mismatched. But honestly, you shouldn't marry anyone who isn't rocking you in the bedroom and is to open to you playing around.
  #36  
Old 02-12-2019, 03:29 PM
Pictionary Pictionary is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by c0cktailov3r View Post
Life is unfair already.
Life is unfair? U are a girl, and there is something called Woman's Charter.

U talk in general ur unfairness and u expect guys to understand and empathise ur unfairness. U and Ladyrain are one of a kind. Why dun u cry wolf elsewhere?

Really a pure bitch! Fuck off.
  #37  
Old 02-12-2019, 09:11 PM
c0cktailov3r c0cktailov3r is offline
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Re: Dilemma and need advice

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pictionary View Post
Life is unfair? U are a girl, and there is something called Woman's Charter.

U talk in general ur unfairness and u expect guys to understand and empathise ur unfairness. U and Ladyrain are one of a kind. Why dun u cry wolf elsewhere?

Really a pure bitch! Fuck off.
Erm. Have i offended you, with posting my views?

Life is indeed unfair. Thats why there is woman's charter. If life is fair, there would be a man's charter... tio bo??
  #38  
Old 03-12-2019, 07:46 PM
dcfv dcfv is offline
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Re: Dilemma and need advice

Quote:
Originally Posted by c0cktailov3r View Post
Ts , please do not marry your gf now if u feel *u let her down* if u do not go through with it.

Because it will be worse if u ever decide to divorce one day down the road.

It is better to talk it out and try to end things amicably now , before u regret your decision to get married. Women will lose more as they age, while men are deemed more desirable. Life is unfair already. Do not destroy the life and future of your gf if u cannot even stay committed before marriage.

After marriage, moving in together, u will focus even more on her flaws. And there will always be a nagging feeling of "what if u had been with Girl No.2 instead"
U will always feel unhappy. And tend to blame your unhappiness on your wife.

Marriage is supposed to be sacred and holy. Not for u to walk into it without even thinking properly.

Dont do anything now that u may regret later.
so true. do not bring your issues into the marriage. I screwed up.
  #39  
Old 04-12-2019, 07:46 PM
ilpink ilpink is offline
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Re: Dilemma and need advice

bro have you had sex with your "friend" if not based on what you say is just conversation she is more adventurous.

u you adventurous sex just pay and possibly you will be able to get it
  #40  
Old 12-12-2019, 04:28 PM
centvin centvin is offline
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Re: Dilemma and need advice

Go with ur gut feeling, there are alot of things we can't evaluate, how u gauge her adventurous sex and the house work commitments.

Once u start to have kid, it is not abt evaluating what's is shortfall anymore
  #41  
Old 21-06-2020, 01:06 PM
coolguy75 coolguy75 is offline
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Re: Dilemma and need advice

Been nearly a year since TS posted this.

In a somewhat similar situation, wonder what decision you made in the end?
  #42  
Old 21-06-2020, 01:31 PM
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Re: Dilemma and need advice

Remember that the girl in the greener pasture is platonic. Based on certain observations, you conjecture and fantasize too much.

Your gf is loving towards you.. maybe a little dull in bed but as a Bro said can spice it up as basic foundation is she loves you already.. this new girl you think is more exciting in bed based on your assumptions of she said... not proved yet, though I do not advise you to try and verify this..

Cooking washing sex are all relatively minor Bro TS. Cooking can learn, got restaurant n food Panda, washing got washing machine m laundromat.. sex after 20 mins what you do with rest of the time with her ? Sex is important but it is not everything.

Looks ? Girls are like flowers Bro.. young is lovely to look at and pick.. with the passing of time, age catches up.. importantly, what happens if her looks wane 15 years down the road, then it is shared experiences and love that counts to pull the relationship along..

Consider carefully Bro..

PS: Bro TS.. yes, what happened .. one year already..
  #43  
Old 25-06-2020, 11:09 AM
bsmtyvm bsmtyvm is offline
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Re: Dilemma and need advice

If you can think of someone else while already in a relationship, always choose the 2nd person; Because if you have found "the one", you won't be thinking of someone else 🤗
  #44  
Old 28-06-2020, 06:43 PM
dandan69 dandan69 is offline
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Re: Dilemma and need advice

honestly do you NEED to get married?
  #45  
Old 03-07-2020, 12:10 AM
fingersling fingersling is offline
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Re: Dilemma and need advice

why can't you introduce them to each other?
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