The Asian Commercial Sex Scene  

Go Back   The Asian Commercial Sex Scene > For stuff you can't discuss with your Facebook Account > Adult Discussions about SEX

Notices

Adult Discussions about SEX Misc chit chat about sex, whores, girls, love and lust. This section is a ZAP FREE zone.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #11056  
Old 08-09-2019, 12:23 PM
Emirates2015 Emirates2015 is offline
Samster
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 15
My Reputation: Points: 55 / Power: 2
Emirates2015 deserves a Tiger! - He's a Good Guy
Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hurricane88 View Post
The Devil smiled and said, "Monica, you're free to go!"🤪🤪😂😂😂
Wahahaa this is funny!!
Clicking this will result in you ignoring ALL of this member's posts. Share on Twitter
Don't quote WHOLE POST unnecessarily
  #11057  
Old 08-09-2019, 03:01 PM
LaIslaBonita LaIslaBonita is offline
Samster
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 16
My Reputation: Points: 24 / Power: 0
LaIslaBonita deserves a Tiger! - He's a Good Guy
Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbirdbird View Post


Tks for sharing good jokes bro bigbirdbird.
Clicking this will result in you ignoring ALL of this member's posts. Share on Twitter
Don't quote WHOLE POST unnecessarily
  #11058  
Old 08-09-2019, 04:37 PM
BlackCrowd BlackCrowd is offline
Samster
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 12
My Reputation: Points: 25 / Power: 0
BlackCrowd deserves a Tiger! - He's a Good Guy
Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hurricane88 View Post
Break a condom will bring how many years bad luck?
Clicking this will result in you ignoring ALL of this member's posts. Share on Twitter
Don't quote WHOLE POST unnecessarily
  #11059  
Old 08-09-2019, 05:05 PM
BlackCrowd BlackCrowd is offline
Samster
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 12
My Reputation: Points: 25 / Power: 0
BlackCrowd deserves a Tiger! - He's a Good Guy
Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbirdbird View Post
Wife : "why are u home so early?"

Hubby : "My boss said go to hell!"
Nice one, thanks bro
Clicking this will result in you ignoring ALL of this member's posts. Share on Twitter
Don't quote WHOLE POST unnecessarily
  #11060  
Old 08-09-2019, 09:02 PM
Cavaliers Cavaliers is offline
Samster
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 13
My Reputation: Points: 190 / Power: 4
Cavaliers is a Helpful and Caring SamsterCavaliers is a Helpful and Caring Samster
Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

Quote:
Originally Posted by etsys View Post
Wives are magicians........

They can change anything into an argument.
😆😜
This is damn true
Clicking this will result in you ignoring ALL of this member's posts. Share on Twitter
Don't quote WHOLE POST unnecessarily
  #11061  
Old 09-09-2019, 05:18 AM
madpig88 madpig88 is offline
Samster
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,640
My Reputation: Points: 5544 / Power: 8
madpig88 has a reputation beyond reputemadpig88 has a reputation beyond reputemadpig88 has a reputation beyond reputemadpig88 has a reputation beyond reputemadpig88 has a reputation beyond reputemadpig88 has a reputation beyond reputemadpig88 has a reputation beyond reputemadpig88 has a reputation beyond reputemadpig88 has a reputation beyond reputemadpig88 has a reputation beyond reputemadpig88 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbirdbird View Post

this is a good one.
Clicking this will result in you ignoring ALL of this member's posts. Share on Twitter
Don't quote WHOLE POST unnecessarily
  #11062  
Old 10-09-2019, 07:38 PM
lipe lipe is offline
Samster
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 5,657
My Reputation: Points: 4831 / Power: 15
lipe has a reputation beyond reputelipe has a reputation beyond reputelipe has a reputation beyond reputelipe has a reputation beyond reputelipe has a reputation beyond reputelipe has a reputation beyond reputelipe has a reputation beyond reputelipe has a reputation beyond reputelipe has a reputation beyond reputelipe has a reputation beyond reputelipe has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious type with an extremely healthy sex drive, so he thought he’d buy her a little something to keep her occupied while he was gone.

He went to a store that sold sex toys and started to look around. He thought about a life-sized sex doll, but that was too close to another man for him. He was browsing through the dildos, looking for something special to please his wife, when he started talking to the old man behind the counter. He explained his situation.

“Well, I don’t really know of anything that will do the trick. We have vibrating dildos, special attachments and so on, but I don’t know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except...” and he stopped.

“Except what?” the man asked.

“Nothing, nothing.”

“C’mon, tell me! I need something!”

“Well, sir, I don’t usually mention this, but there is The Voodoo Penis.”

“So what’s up with this Voodoo Penis?” he asked.

The old man reached under the counter and pulled out a very old wooden box carved with strange symbols and erotic images. He opened it, and there lay a very ordinary-looking dildo. The businessman laughed and said, “Big deal. It looks like every other dildo in this shop!”

The old man replied, “But you haven’t seen what it’ll do yet.” He pointed to a door and said, “Voodoo Penis, the door.”

The Voodoo Penis miraculously rose out of its box, shot over to the door and started pounding the keyhole. The whole door shook with the vibrations, so much so that a crack began to form. Before the door split, the old man said, “Voodoo Penis, return to box!” The Voodoo Penis stopped, levitated back to the box and lay there quiet once more.

“I’ll take it!” said the businessman.

The old man resisted, saying it wasn’t for sale, but finally surrendered to $500.

The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it all she had to do was say “Voodoo Penis, my crotch.”

He left for his trip satisfied that things would be fine while he was gone. After he’d been gone a few days, his wife was getting unbearably horny. She thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she remembered the Voodoo Penis. She stripped off, opened the box and said, “Voodoo Penis, my crotch!”

The Voodoo Penis shot into her and started pumping. It was absolutely incredible, like nothing she’d ever experienced before. After three mind-shattering orgasms she became very exhausted and decided she’d had enough. She tried to pull it out but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out but nothing worked. Her husband had forgotten to tell her how to shut it off.

Worried, she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help. She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive, quivering with every thrust of the dildo. On the way, another incredibly intense orgasm made her swerve all over the road. A traffic policeman saw this and immediately pulled her over.

He asked for her license, and then asked how much she’d had to drink. Gasping and twitching, she explained, “I haven’t had anything to drink, officer. You see, I’ve got this Voodoo Penis thing stuck in my crotch and it won’t stop screwing me!”

The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and said, “Voodoo Penis? Voodoo Penis, my ass...”
Clicking this will result in you ignoring ALL of this member's posts. Share on Twitter
Don't quote WHOLE POST unnecessarily
  #11063  
Old 10-09-2019, 07:43 PM
lipe lipe is offline
Samster
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 5,657
My Reputation: Points: 4831 / Power: 15
lipe has a reputation beyond reputelipe has a reputation beyond reputelipe has a reputation beyond reputelipe has a reputation beyond reputelipe has a reputation beyond reputelipe has a reputation beyond reputelipe has a reputation beyond reputelipe has a reputation beyond reputelipe has a reputation beyond reputelipe has a reputation beyond reputelipe has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

After some great sex, she lies there stroking his prick.

He asks, “Do you want more sex?”

“No,” she replies, “I’m just admiring your cock... I really miss mine.”
Clicking this will result in you ignoring ALL of this member's posts. Share on Twitter
Don't quote WHOLE POST unnecessarily
  #11064  
Old 11-09-2019, 06:45 PM
Hurricane88's Avatar
Hurricane88 Hurricane88 is offline
Samster
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: International Forum
Posts: 19,606
My Reputation: Points: 28427 / Power: 23
Hurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

Nice jokes here...

__________________
( Click to show/hide )
life in full circle...what will happen will happen...just wait

<a href=https://images.sbf.net.nz/img/248145.jpg target=_blank rel=nofollow>https://images.sbf.net.nz/img/248145.jpg</a>

Any 4 points or more are welcome to exchange...PM me if have not return favour

Any post quoting entire long forum may be removed and/or points zapped...will reward for good forum/report

Clicking this will result in you ignoring ALL of this member's posts. Share on Twitter
Don't quote WHOLE POST unnecessarily
  #11065  
Old 11-09-2019, 09:08 PM
bigbirdbird's Avatar
bigbirdbird bigbirdbird is offline
Samster
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Somewhere Out There
Posts: 12,505
My Reputation: Points: 10903 / Power: 12
bigbirdbird has a reputation beyond reputebigbirdbird has a reputation beyond reputebigbirdbird has a reputation beyond reputebigbirdbird has a reputation beyond reputebigbirdbird has a reputation beyond reputebigbirdbird has a reputation beyond reputebigbirdbird has a reputation beyond reputebigbirdbird has a reputation beyond reputebigbirdbird has a reputation beyond reputebigbirdbird has a reputation beyond reputebigbirdbird has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

A couple had a quarrel one evening. When it was time to sleep, the man lay on the floor while the lady slept on the bed. Later into the night, the husband had an erection, he then held his small man and said "you better sleep, didn't you see that I quarreled with her?"

The lady replied "don't involve everybody in our quarrels, the case is between you and I, don't involve him.

Allow him to come and play with his friend".
__________________


birdie8819 is now reborn as bigbirdbird

Please PM me if I forgot to return your favour
Clicking this will result in you ignoring ALL of this member's posts. Share on Twitter
Don't quote WHOLE POST unnecessarily
  #11066  
Old 12-09-2019, 02:31 PM
Hurricane88's Avatar
Hurricane88 Hurricane88 is offline
Samster
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: International Forum
Posts: 19,606
My Reputation: Points: 28427 / Power: 23
Hurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

More jokes...


__________________
( Click to show/hide )
life in full circle...what will happen will happen...just wait

<a href=https://images.sbf.net.nz/img/248145.jpg target=_blank rel=nofollow>https://images.sbf.net.nz/img/248145.jpg</a>

Any 4 points or more are welcome to exchange...PM me if have not return favour

Any post quoting entire long forum may be removed and/or points zapped...will reward for good forum/report

Clicking this will result in you ignoring ALL of this member's posts. Share on Twitter
Don't quote WHOLE POST unnecessarily
  #11067  
Old 12-09-2019, 02:33 PM
Hurricane88's Avatar
Hurricane88 Hurricane88 is offline
Samster
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: International Forum
Posts: 19,606
My Reputation: Points: 28427 / Power: 23
Hurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

continue


__________________
( Click to show/hide )
life in full circle...what will happen will happen...just wait

<a href=https://images.sbf.net.nz/img/248145.jpg target=_blank rel=nofollow>https://images.sbf.net.nz/img/248145.jpg</a>

Any 4 points or more are welcome to exchange...PM me if have not return favour

Any post quoting entire long forum may be removed and/or points zapped...will reward for good forum/report

Clicking this will result in you ignoring ALL of this member's posts. Share on Twitter
Don't quote WHOLE POST unnecessarily
  #11068  
Old 12-09-2019, 06:29 PM
CheongingEdge CheongingEdge is offline
Samster
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 115
My Reputation: Points: 785 / Power: 13
CheongingEdge is a splendid one to beholdCheongingEdge is a splendid one to beholdCheongingEdge is a splendid one to beholdCheongingEdge is a splendid one to beholdCheongingEdge is a splendid one to beholdCheongingEdge is a splendid one to beholdCheongingEdge is a splendid one to behold
Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

Just sharing one I got from a friend:

Child asking mom: What is an overseas vacation?
Mom: An overseas vacation is where you get to enjoy and experience life in different parts of the world and a time when you can relax and simply enjoy living.

Child asking dad: What is an overseas vacation?
Dad: An overseas vacation is when your mom wants to get away from the place she's tired of living in to go to another place where the people there are tired of living in, spend MY money there to make the people there richer and then come back to the same old place where she's tired of living and continue her life but with lesser money and more reasons to complain about how little money I have.
Clicking this will result in you ignoring ALL of this member's posts. Share on Twitter
Don't quote WHOLE POST unnecessarily
  #11069  
Old 12-09-2019, 07:09 PM
dyelook's Avatar
dyelook dyelook is offline
Samster
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 7,881
My Reputation: Points: 5817 / Power: 12
dyelook has a reputation beyond reputedyelook has a reputation beyond reputedyelook has a reputation beyond reputedyelook has a reputation beyond reputedyelook has a reputation beyond reputedyelook has a reputation beyond reputedyelook has a reputation beyond reputedyelook has a reputation beyond reputedyelook has a reputation beyond reputedyelook has a reputation beyond reputedyelook has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

Quote:
Originally Posted by CheongingEdge View Post
Just sharing one I got from a friend:

Child asking mom: What is an overseas vacation?
Mom: An overseas vacation is where you get to enjoy and experience life in different parts of the world and a time when you can relax and simply enjoy living.

Child asking dad: What is an overseas vacation?
Dad: An overseas vacation is when i can get away from your mom boring bed stories & hear new bed stories from other moms to be..
__________________
Please excuse me if my desire to ignore you is stronger than my desire to give a fuck about your thoughts

Last edited by dyelook; 13-09-2019 at 02:27 AM.
Clicking this will result in you ignoring ALL of this member's posts. Share on Twitter
Don't quote WHOLE POST unnecessarily
  #11070  
Old 12-09-2019, 09:48 PM
StrongBrew StrongBrew is offline
Samster
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 213
My Reputation: Points: 389 / Power: 18
StrongBrew is a living Saint! - you won't find betterStrongBrew is a living Saint! - you won't find betterStrongBrew is a living Saint! - you won't find betterStrongBrew is a living Saint! - you won't find better
Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

A guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there."You talk?" he asks."Yep," the mutt replies."So, what's your story?"The mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running.The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.The owner says, "Ten dollars."The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him, so cheap?"The owner replies, "He's just a big liar. He didn't do any of that stuff."
__________________
I Saw, I Conquer, I Came...
Clicking this will result in you ignoring ALL of this member's posts. Share on Twitter
Don't quote WHOLE POST unnecessarily
Advert Space Available
Reply



Bookmarks
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT +8. The time now is 03:15 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.10
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copywrong © Samuel Leong 2006 ~ 2019 ph