Low & Mid Income Sillypore Bros, SG or Foreign Gf/Wife?

[mackewell]

Hi all,

in order not to mix wif issues on my LOS thread, i have decided to create this new thread. However, wadever i am going to comment here is based on my OWN opinion and mentality lah, no right or wrong lah, up to u to judge.

Basically if you let me choose, i will not take sg girls to be my gf or wife( i have my reasons, i will explain soon.)

To start off, i will categorise the monthly income lvl of we sinkie bros in this way:

Low Income bros(earning SGD$3500 and below)

Middle Income bros(earning SGD$4000-$8000)

High Income bros(earning above SGD$8000)

For me, i will talk more on low income bros section as i am one of them. For high income bros, i dont really understand ur world and ur set of problems yet. But feel free to share lah if you from any of the three income categories. Non sillyporeans also can share your experiences lah lol.

Ok not to make this into an essay, i will be touching on three points here.

1) Basic account of myself(i explain where i stand and how i look at things to make myself clear first)

2) Pros & Cons of having SG girlfriend or wife(veri brief lah , maybe 3 points for both sides)

3) Pros & Cons of having Foreign girlfriend or wife(veri brief also)

[mackewell]

Basic Account of myself(I am not trying to matchmake or sell myself here, just posting a realistic account of myself, not pessimistic here lah.)

- Being a sillyporean chinese at 27 years old, Dont say wife, i never have a girlfriend before(Kinda loser cum average joe here).

- Having obtained my sports management dip from a private sch earlier, i am on my way to obtaining my tourism management dip from another private sch(not poly grad here, so i foresee my future job giving me monthly pay at $1400-1600). cut away expenses plus some savings per mth, i think i can come out 300-500 for entertainment, leisure.

- I Dont have any freaking Cs( no car, condo, credit card or wadsoever)

- I am tall but fatter and uglier than PSY. I don't dance cheesily like him or dress classically like him too. However, for sure i understand the need to self improve, enhance my wardrobe, invest on this coz packaging is impt when u meet girls.

- I lacked X factor or charisma here( If u have it, u have lah. I wont go under de knife to possess that. Being myself more important bah.)

- Due to bad r/s wif papa and mama till today(gen gap and friction issues), i am not willing to have kids, dont want to be a father figure and foresee the worst shld i have a kid in this materialistic vicious world in the near future.

- Despite 8 yrs of experience in comm xxx scene in sg and in LOS recently, I can come across as a comfortable speaker among guys but stutter when chatting wif girls(due to my straightforward personality bah.) When face girls, i dont want talk much cos i knoe girls dont like guys to be blunt. But then when i keep quiet, they say i shy and not friendly also wrong. LOL. And also, maybe this is also why i dunno how to romantise a lady bah.

[mackewell]

MY Pros & Cons of having SG girlfriend or wife

PROS:

- for a noob in BGR, its safer and better to look out for a sg girlfriend who shares the same culture and speak the same language as you. I feel lah, in your first BGR, you will be more sentimental, you want someone who shares the same roots as you to stay with you not just for months, but maybe up to a yr or two.

- I need not relocate or seek ways to maintain a long distance r/s wif my gf. It is less tedious as i can meet her often in sillypore.

- My girlfriend may not have problems getting along with my parents, no culture differences in this instance.

- My gf will be able to purchase a BTO flat with me shld we get married( we can use our CPF to pay together, share the costs, if i am not wrong?)


CONS:

- For a low income bro like me, i think i cant retire in an expensive sg in the future. Maybe i wanna rent a small apartment in a cheaper neighbor country when i in my mid 50s and chill and past time. So SG girlfriend or wife is a nono as she may not want to move away wif me.

- SG being an urban and materialistic city, i came across so many girls who hog on their Iphones or keep talking about the atas bags, places to dine and so on. To me, I cant keep up with such a modern SG girl who thinks its a norm to go to atas places frequently and equip themselves wif top grade items. Due to this, sg girls are aiming for at least mid income bros(its a norm liao), so i stand no chance or i do not want to suffocate myself wif this.

- The fast pace of living in SG and the cultureless society thanks to our garment, sg girls already forget how to do the simple things to stroke the ego of we sg men. For instance, if my sg gf want go watch me play football at the field wif my friends, later she will complain weather very hot and so on. I have seen vietnamese gfs in sg, after their viet bfs finish playing soccer , they will pass them lunchboxes or even shockingly wipe their sweat for them OMG.

- I want my first BGR to be a emotional filled, an unforgettable one(call me crazy but i yearn for this). If i choose my first gf in sg, i stereotypical foresee her comparing me to her mid income female frens' bfs and so on, later she unhappy becuz of low status and so on(again money and status comes into the pic very oftenly). Oh ya, and sg girls being very westernized, they surely want space. I can give you space if you tell me you want go clubbing wif ur male friends, i cannot accept lah(i can only think of those dudes wriggling their cocks to grind you on the dancefloor.). And then she will say i dont understand her cos i dont give her space to go flirt wif men which she feels it is ok to do it in western culture.

[mackewell]

MY Pros & Cons on having Foreign girlfriend or wife

PROS:

- Of cos, for an low income bro like me, i be targetting the cheaper destinations in ASEAN. In other countries, they are big enough to have class divisions. I can target lower class girls who speak basic english. They dont demand so much and if i can save for the 5-10 years via working in sg, i can prolly buy a small house in another country and start a simple life wif my foreign gf or wife.

- Shld i have a foreign gf who have the high lvl of commitment as me to make the r/s work, we can work hard to learn the culture and language of both our countries. Your relationship wif her maybe more interesting rather than you already knoe the bad points or good points of a sg girl. you wont stereotype your foreign girl cos you are new to her country's culture and so on.

- Without a doubt, the dowry will be less expensive, i dont have to splurge money like mad just to satisfy her parents(if she is from simple background). Unlike in SG where face is a major factor and you need to hold ur wedding in big hotels, in foreign country the financial dmg will be lesser.

- She can do the simple things for me in her country if i stay wif her there. Life there can be at slower pace and we can be more happy unlike in SG.

CONS:

- its painstaking trying to maintain a long distance r/s wif a foreign girl. Sometimes, the trust factor plays a big part in this. If you dont trust her enough, you will quarrel wif her and problems will come.

- She is not what you thought she is. She may portrait an image you like in front of you. But only when you go to her hometown and then you realise that she is not what she say she is, too late liao.

- Language problem and you lose out when you compete for the foreign girl of your interest wif the local dudes there. You may have money but she may go wif a local guy cos she wants to stay in her comfort zone.

- Your working schedule may conflict or even reduce the amount of times you can fly over to see her face to face. The less she sees you, the higher chance she could forget you and cheat behind your back.

[indianmagicoil]

Bro u not even 30 and write yourself off?

You seem eloquent enough on-line but why clam up in front of girls? I think u need a bit self confidence coz knowing when to b frank and when to sweet talk can b learnt with practice. U never had a serious BGR r/s b4? plus 8 years of comm sex will have some psychological impact on your GF/wife hunt.

Proper grooming and dress nicely even when "chionging" is important. Looks r secondary, of course money No. 1, but girls like guys who have a sense of humor and in LOS, sanook! Why sometimes u see average, not rich, guy w beautiful girl?

Seeing your pros & cons I have to say that u cannot find a city girl in LOS coz she will b exactly the same as our SG girls and I think LOS girls are even more self aware of their looks, status etc...

[mackewell]

Originally Posted by indianmagicoil

Bro u not even 30 and write yourself off?

You seem eloquent enough on-line but why clam up in front of girls? I think u need a bit self confidence coz knowing when to b frank and when to sweet talk can b learnt with practice. U never had a serious BGR r/s b4? plus 8 years of comm sex will have some psychological impact on your GF/wife hunt.

Proper grooming and dress nicely even when "chionging" is important. Looks r secondary, of course money No. 1, but girls like guys who have a sense of humor and in LOS, sanook! Why sometimes u see average, not rich, guy w beautiful girl?

Seeing your pros & cons I have to say that u cannot find a city girl in LOS coz she will b exactly the same as our SG girls and I think LOS girls are even more self aware of their looks, status etc...

Yea bro, i never had a BGR b4 thanks to my 8 yrs in comm sex scene, i keep thinking of what pattern the cha bors will come up rather than go up and try to really knoe them. I oledi bought into my hokkien saying, 'girl nice to see not nice to eat'.

I think i need a mentality shift and BALLS, like u say , u can have a presentable fella goin up to a girl wif tons of confidence and getting laid at the end of the night wif absolute no need to pay any cent on the following day. Unfortunately, i just cant get the humor thing, dunno why some guys can just make it happen wif a short and sweet conversation, kudos to them...

Oh ya, must be realistic lah, chances are i will meet up wif more city girls be it in LOS or other country, not easy to find village girl unless got lobang go kampong but i rather go around have flings and short term r/s first than in a way buying a real r/s via kampong...

[greener]

Hi,

I think you should strive for the following

1) try to further your skills sets by going thru training and get a better pay job
2) try to settle with a local girl. With a foreign bride, frankly speaking the expenses will be higher than with air tickets and family support included.

Thai or Viet it doesn't matter. Even if they marry here, you will be more burdened due to extra expenses. A local wife ( Singapore or Malaysian ) , are more capable to bring in some income and support each other.

We must consider everything. Marriage is a long term thing. Don't tire yourself out both financially and emotionally.

Hope it helps.

Regards,
Greener

[mackewell]

Originally Posted by greener

Hi,

I think you should strive for the following

1) try to further your skills sets by going thru training and get a better pay job
2) try to settle with a local girl. With a foreign bride, frankly speaking the expenses will be higher than with air tickets and family support included.

Thai or Viet it doesn't matter. Even if they marry here, you will be more burdened due to extra expenses. A local wife ( Singapore or Malaysian ) , are more capable to bring in some income and support each other.

We must consider everything. Marriage is a long term thing. Don't tire yourself out both financially and emotionally.

Hope it helps.

Regards,
Greener

Bro, thanks for ur two cents.

However i am playin it safe by not assuming tt i will hit mid income in some part of my life. Hypotetically, Its better my local(i dun see it happenin to be honest) gf accept my low income status, wadever extra is bonus. The prob is sg girls who are usually diploma holders now at least and are well supported and protected by ther parents think the sky is de limit.

Wif real love( if there is in the r/s which i highly doubt), u need to accept the guy even if he low income or wad. Its a vicious society and i doubt any local girl available can drop their ego and accept it( sorry to the nice sg girls, you are either taken or got bf liao.) in my case, not to haolian, i sure can drop my ego and live without most Cs lah. To top on that, not i rascist or wad, me being a non halal eater, i dun see myself knowing malay or indian chicks to be gf( i knoe malay girls can be low maintenance but de most can get fling or normal frens bah.)

I apologise if i sound harsh or biased, but i am sick and tired of accomodating into the viciousness of a cultureless sg(thanks LKY, if pap can be more compassionate, things can sure improve.) just to find tt super rare local gem when i know demographics and numbers are against a low income me. However, msian chicks are not bad ( foreign k bros) hahahahaaha...

Oh ya not to splash cold water on low income bros, but for me, i wont want to get married and let my wife suffer( without enuff money in sg, its horrible feeling in terms of hardship.) just like my signature, i feel if i bo money to support a new family, i will still let go my nice gf and let her pursue her real happiness. In life, money inevitably talks and owns. I dun like to say this but i am not thinking abt marriage at all, courtship is fine.

[JacqueMerlin]

bro, my advise is that you should by all means not marry in Singapore. The women's charter can kill you even if you possess evidence of your wife's infidelity. I will suggest that you look beyond the problems and focus on upgrading yourself and I don't mean certificates. That's a very tedious way of upgrading and returns are conventional. Learn how to do investments, be actively involved with properties, shares, insurance and the likes. Concentrate on brokering if you cannot afford them. You don't even have to be in the 'your defined high income range' to realise that, build that up and your choice of girls will come to you. Don't squander your savings or bonus on casinos, girls that don't matter. By then, you will realise that the only woman worth dedicating your life to is your mother. Not having your first gf? Bro... You're not missing anything yet. Why settle yourself for one girl when hou could've many? I was like you bro... I wanted the lovey dovey family life with a woman I can call mine. But I was introduced to the world of filth by seniors who walked the same path. Learnt a little on investing my assets, changed my mentality to grab a much well paying job and took the great leap I wish you all the best bro...

[mackewell]

Originally Posted by JacqueMerlin

bro, my advise is that you should by all means not marry in Singapore. The women's charter can kill you even if you possess evidence of your wife's infidelity. I will suggest that you look beyond the problems and focus on upgrading yourself and I don't mean certificates. That's a very tedious way of upgrading and returns are conventional. Learn how to do investments, be actively involved with properties, shares, insurance and the likes. Concentrate on brokering if you cannot afford them. You don't even have to be in the 'your defined high income range' to realise that, build that up and your choice of girls will come to you. Don't squander your savings or bonus on casinos, girls that don't matter. By then, you will realise that the only woman worth dedicating your life to is your mother. Not having your first gf? Bro... You're not missing anything yet. Why settle yourself for one girl when hou could've many? I was like you bro... I wanted the lovey dovey family life with a woman I can call mine. But I was introduced to the world of filth by seniors who walked the same path. Learnt a little on investing my assets, changed my mentality to grab a much well paying job and took the great leap I wish you all the best bro...

Bro, whether to settle down anot eventually in life is subjective. I knoe some bros( in their fifties, divorced so many times) who has the financial capability to plae girls and wont get bored even until the end of their lifetime. But in my case, i think i will be bored after playing for more than fifteen years and i dont want to also assume i will be rich in the future.

But you are right, thanks to women charter, lets say i wanna marry a local girl, i will bring her overseas to register my marry or even hold an overseas wedding and then bring her back to sg. If you do follow the news on guo jing jing's(china swimmer) marriage to the rich fella, this kenneth fella has done the good example of doing a pre nuptial agreement on money and assets, choosing not to anyhow give(you have to do this, cos girls spoil the market when they expect more than the ' money and security').

U know the old fashioned chinese song where they say in this world only mothers are the best/ good? Its freaking true for most bros here includin me. No way in hell you can find a wife or girlfriend who possess the maternal qualities or patience like ur mum. maybe they will possess only 50 percent of our mums qualities. Of course, we will be glad knowing that for most bros that our gf or wife wont have the nagging or stereotype mentality like our mums lolx....

and also, this is not a naive world lah. I am not saying i am proud to enter the comm xxx scene but i am glad i did in some aspects. I get to see the vicious side of women and understand that quality of xxx life does plae a part in a stable r/s in this day and age.

[JacqueMerlin]

by the way, true love does not require you to possess anything material. If she truly loves you, she sticks by you even if you are a pauper or invald. If you need to 'take care' of a girl with money as the main priority so as to 'fulfill' hour 'duties'... Ask the same question back if she will be with you and take care of you if you become crippled? Unable to generate income. Love is not a transaction just like you don't 'love' a whore whom you exchange something with.. This is my honest opinion.

[JacqueMerlin]

by the way, true love does not require you to possess anything material. If she truly loves you, she sticks by you even if you are a pauper or invald. If you need to 'take care' of a girl with money as the main priority so as to 'fulfill' hour 'duties'... Ask the same question back if she will be with you and take care of you if you become crippled? Unable to generate income. Love is not a transaction just like you don't 'love' a whore whom you exchange something with.. This is my honest opinion.

[mackewell]

Originally Posted by JacqueMerlin

by the way, true love does not require you to possess anything material. If she truly loves you, she sticks by you even if you are a pauper or invald. If you need to 'take care' of a girl with money as the main priority so as to 'fulfill' hour 'duties'... Ask the same question back if she will be with you and take care of you if you become crippled? Unable to generate income. Love is not a transaction just like you don't 'love' a whore whom you exchange something with.. This is my honest opinion.

Bro i dig what u say, but even if the girl really love you, you need to be appreciative of her efforts. some uncles will prolly earn peanuts and take it for granted and their wives will accept cos of true love.

But if you can give her a better life cos you love her , why not? you alreadi knoe inside your heart, even if she leave you for a better life wif a better half, you will unwilling let her go cos you want her to be happy. But for my case, if i find a girl so damn freaking good, can give her whole heart without thinking much to me, i will god damn work triplely hard to make her dun leave me at all.

No way i will let her go, tats true love tt you will never really see in modern life nowadays. My mom and dad are an example, together for more than 30 years, even when my dad down wif diabetes and in financial debt almost a decade ago, my mom never even thought of divorce or what, she was very optimistic that my dad will be back healthy and strong. And i am so damn glad she was right, if not i can never accept myself stranded in a 'divorced family'.

Oh ya, i have heard of more cases of vietnam wives taking care of their hospitalized husbands in hospitals in Hcm city than sinkie wives doing that for their husbands in sg... In this day and age, i feel we need to think abit open, love wif some material will get you somewhere more comfortable and more consistent wif ur truthful gf or wife, but love wif no material will make your wife suffer wif you. you suffer ok lah, why let your wife suffer? shes innocent afterall.

[joncheong]

I know of a singaporean couple, husband early 40s and wife late thirties... After husband got stroke, the wife did helped to take over his biz but fucl behind his back.... A very sad story

[porscheclub]

U know what's your problem?

U are in this forum since 07, you're throughly contaminated & already set out a negative mindset about relationships. Love is about giving & not expecting returns. I see a lot of us have a male problem that we expect women to serve us & treat us like king in life, at home, sex, everything. Our partner, wife, lover is not a maid. Any urban citystate will have a highly educated working female ratio & they'll only seek the better male to provide for them, it's nature. Just like we lust after beautiful women, they also desire what we can offer them. Have you ever seen a poor bloke with a gorgeous woman?

There's plenty of local gals still sitting on the bench waiting for the right guy to come along & going after women is like hunting. The stronger, faster predator gets the meal. When a woman loves you, she'll do anything for you.

Men give love to have sex, women give sex to have love.

I'm fortunate to be on the upper echelon to have seen how women give everything to have love & how men offer loads of gifts to win the woman's heart.

If you have exhausted all channels to compete on local level then by all means look for alternatives (foreign women) but go with your eyes & mind open. Embrace their culture, language etc. but protect your savings please (always have a plan B) & even consider migrating. Singapore is a small well, we need to see the world. Good luck & love will find you but first, give love