Rental issues
 

Just wondering.
If Brenda is currently living in an apartment she rented by herself and lives there for 7 years on her own and then poof, a boyfriend came along.
They lived together for 2 years and then she decided that the boyfriend should also share the cost of living together.
However to her disappointment, he said he earned $500 lesser than her so she should continue to be responsible for the living expenses as per if she didnt found him.
Eventually, he agreed to only pay for the electricity bills.
And they lived together for another year and she became to feel emotionally imbalanced as she saw him spending on himself for unnecessary luxuries she had to stopped herself in order to foot the rent and bills.
Share your opinions guys.
Just a thought.

Re: Rental issues
 

Who propose the cohabitation first? Where was the guy staying at before first

If he was staying w

ith his parents before living rent free then coming in to live with brenda and asked to share the rental then he should be obliged to help out if it was his ideal to stay together.

If it was her then she shouldn't be looking for a bf to help provide. She is a strong independent woman who shouldn't need a man. Gender equality.

Because without him, your life would still be the same unless u rented a bigger more expensive place to live together

Also have to see if he helps out doing household chore. If he doesn't look after his own mess then helping out in money should be his way of showing his sincerity in the rs and he isnt looking to take advantage.

When it comes to meal, who pay? Your normal mundane day to day groceries who pay?

Before brenda feels emotionally imbalance, she should write up a factual list of who pays for what and be fair and neutral.

Re: Rental issues
 

Interesting.
Just a thought after watching some China shows!
True to a certain extent but if they continue to develop the relationship further down the road for another 10 over years?

Re: Rental issues
 

Frankly speaking 7 years in and no talks or marriage or promise of lifelong companionship is odd. It is u dont want marriage or him? Or both of u dont want

Re: Rental issues
 

Sincerely think that you should just move on. No point to be with someone so calculative..... Now already like that. Married liao leh expect to quarrel due to finance matter every day. For wat?

My thought on finance in a relationship.
Both should not be calulative on who pays for small items, whoever can afford or have money in their wallets should pay.

All major purchase need to be discussed up front between both party. Example car or house. Who will pay for the installment/petrol/insurance etc.

Should 1 party not be able to make payments for his/her responsibility for a certain period. The other party should offer to help without asking.

Re: Rental issues
 

Love is never balanced. It's always one party giving more than the other. Sometimes A gives more, other times B gives more. It may balance out in the longer run, some never, other even only A is giving at the end.

舍得舍得，有舍才有得。You give some, you get back some in other form. So it's a matter of how much you willing to give and take. If cannot tahan anymore, then it's the end. Just like rubber band, it will snap eventually.

Re: Rental issues
 

The bf is scheming and calculative!

Re: Rental issues
 

Better to keep a joint account for all these expenses. Earning less is not excuses. I started earning less than my wife but overtook at some stages. So really depends on how much you can save

Some ppl earn $2000 save $1000
Some ppl earn $20,000 and spend $25,000

Over the years, you will realised no need branded goods also ok. Lol!

Re: Rental issues
 

If Brenda feels imbalanced then she should ask herself whether she wants to continue the relationship or not lor.

I assume that Brenda is of sound mind; she was the one who let the boyfriend into her house if she find that she can no longer live with him....then? Let go of him lah, what to do?

Re: Rental issues
 

Why on earth do u want to stay with someone tat doesn't contribute ?
Stay alone more peaceful .... what yr term of BF ?
If he doesn't want to help lighten yr bundle ask him to do all house work or charge him 500 per F
As gov always remind us there is no free lunch :)

Re: Rental issues
 

Agree. No money give nvm. Must offer something else

Re: Rental issues
 

maybe he has 8 inches ... thousand reasons ... use your imagination :D

Re: Rental issues
 

the spending on lux good may be a sudden windfall/rise that he did not disclose. Key issue is Brenda. From the story, it is obvious she is frustrated with the current arrangement and wanted a change. Maybe a more balance contribution from the bf or simply this is one of the many underlying issues which simply sparked off the anger and frustration.

Re: Rental issues
 

Regardless of reason, the guy is useless. Ditch the guy.

Re: Rental issues
 

Contrary, I feel those with joint acct for paying bills are the ones that lack trust. Must see money in then can sleep at night.

I dont have such issues with any of my relationship. Just that up front, we will sort out and clearly list out who pays what. So, theres no room for argument down the road.

Fighting over money is the easiest way to destroy any relationship, guaranteed.